@onethreeonetwo

Monday, July 7, 2014

Priorities


The hustling lifestyle of mine, which I swore to never live like this anymore this year, is happening again. I'm ashamed. I'm back to neglecting others, neglecting myself, neglecting every aspects of my life. I'm lost and I don't know where to begin. I need to get out there, remind myself of who I am, what I want, before I can continue. But yet I'm overwhelmed, over occupied. There's just so much I need to do, I want my freedom yet I can't because I have responsibilities. I also need to stop escaping, stop avoiding, but yet I'm running further and further away. These thoughts in me, I need to get pass them. I need to stop letting days pass. But for now, I breathe, well, trying.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Morning Commute Thoughts

Headed over to Lisa's for dinner yesterday and because everything felt so comfortable I decided to stay over despite having a long day today. It was a good cozy heart warming time spent. Home cooked dinner by her mum. Catching up with good old friends who are all going on different paths. But as we grow up, everything is still the same. I am still as giggly as ever and I still laugh at anything and everything. Like I quote from Shine, "still the same". Then we started talking about life. Is interesting how we are so different yet so similar. How everyone have their own fascination. Oh gosh, part of growing up. As it got late, we lay on the bed, talk and eventually fell asleep. Is such simple things in life that makes me feel so lucky to have people who loves you. To be honest, I felt even more confused and lost about my own life after the chat. I've been feeling so lost ever since I have to make a decision about what happenes next. And is sad and scary that even till today, even after acceptance, I'm still unsure. There's just so much in life that I am unsure about.... I left the house today morning with so much thoughts. I need to find an answer. But for now, work, leggo!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Thoughts

Maybe is the chill weather, maybe is the chill music spotify is playing, maybe is the fault in the stars, maybe is just me. I'm thinking, thinking and thinking and perhaps drowning.

Is sad. We share different views. We don't seem to understand one another anymore. I'm sad, I can feel my tears choking, yet I don't know how to fix this. I recall going back into this topic and thought countless of time. With time, people change (you and i), feelings fade, and things aren't the same anymore. We both know. And that's sad. We both know, yet we don't know how to fix this. Yet our love is keeping this friendship going, because none of us want this to break.

In different parts of your life, you find yourself getting close to different people. And people whom you use to be closed with, will somehow grow apart. Is a cycle, in everyone's life. But is not something to be sad about. Is life. Eventually the people who you used to be close with, will always be your comfort. Those are the friendships you don't have to keep in touch everyday, yet you know they will always be there for you.

Time to time, I go back to thinking it could have been my fault for everything to be falling apart. Because I'm always very busy, I don't maintain my relationship with people. But, it could also be because I've changed. I've changed. Which I believe is mainly the reason why. I'm no longer who I used to be. Well, at least to me, this change is for the better. I've learnt to not put in so much effort in relationships anymore because I've been hurt. Even till today, although I know my friends still love me, I just cannot do the same to them anymore. I'm really sorry but is not the same anymore. And because of different in beliefs, I find it very hard for people to understand me, sometimes, I just don't bother expressing anymore since it won't make a difference. I know I shouldn't be feeling like this. But I can't help it.

I really hate drowning in my thoughts. Is a no way out. I just keep thinking and thinking and in the end I feel even and even more confused about what I'm feeling. Sigh.


Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Change

As I type this, I am suppose to be thousand of miles away on this special day. Three weeks ago, all of that would be the same. I will start work in Hong Kong for 2 months from 4th June 2014. Then, something happened. Life was unpredictable. I want to thank all my friends that have been through that 1-2weeks of hell with me. Thanks for being there for, asking me to believe in what's best for me and to be selfish. The amount of people that was there for me, I cannot even explain how bless I am to have people who love me, who only want the best for me. Especially Chester who was there for me at just a text away, letting me completing fall apart in front of him, and listening to me. I really don't know how my life will turn out without you, my dearest angel. It is only when I realize how important I am to the people around me, the amount of people who deep down wished I stayed but said nothing because they support my decision. Especially my dad and mum who had always supported me. I still recall that night when my mum finally told me that she hopes I don't go.

Life is indeed, unpredictable. Looking back, I actually made a decision without thinking much into it. It all go back to February when I was in Malaysia for CNY. I still recall that at the moment, my parents were both in front of me. I told them about the opportunity that I am gonna forgo cause I have SCA, which is my priority. Yet, they told me to go for it, because they know how badly I fought for an internship in Hong Kong, a year back. So I thought for a while and concluded that I shouldn't forgo. And now, fast forward, May, four months. The amount of things that had happened in between. I guess I should have know better. In the very first place, I rejected it because of SCA and now I am rejecting it once again, for SCA. I must admit, it was my fault, my heart swayed. I find myself completely being dedicated to SCA. I still cannot emphasize on how bless I am to be here. It had been nine months of service and still I wish I could do more. But the reason I wanted to stay is the amount of things I am going to get out from the new role I am going into. I always loved e-commerce and now I am given the opportunity to run an entire e-commerce business. I mean comeon, I'm only 19, and who the hell will be lucky enough to be given such an opportunity.

And all of this came only less than a month before I am suppose to fly to Hong Kong. I was fucked. I was struggling between going for it or keeping to my promise. I really don't mean to disappoint people around me and even till today, I am overwhelm with guilt. Is just me, I'm the type of girl who will apologise for anything she do because I always feel that I am at fault and when I am at fault, I blame myself, badly :( So, my only backup plan was to find a replacement. To be honest, I was at the edge of giving up because I mean who am I to be so lucky to be able to find a replacement in less than a month. And guess what, I was lucky. I want to thank all my friends for helping me in this. For spreading around and giving up their on own priorities just for a friend who is troubled and who sincerely wishes for the friend to be happy. I was very lucky, to find a replacement and that is when my troubles all ended.

So here I am, today, living a happy life, I would say. I've been basically walking on sunshine ever since last week idky. It made me realise the importance of living my life to the best, these two months because it was a trade off and risk that I took. I've been learning a lot about my new role and I am pretty excited for what's going to come :) I have also been spending more time with people because I mean now that I am local, I am not leaving, I should really start spending time with people. I have also decided to really, start slowly down my life. I have been trying very hard to cope between two jobs well now three or should I say four hahahaha, and my personal time and time with people I love. And since uni is going to start in Aug, and that I don't need money as much anymore since I'm not saving hard for any overseas trip anymore, is time to enjoy after 6pm weekdays and weekends. So far, life is good, and I'm really loving it. I think it is obvious that I'm breeming with joy. The amount of people who say why are you so happy over the past week hahaha. And well, I feel it within myself too :)

Is interesting how life works. It somehow will fall perfectly no matter how bad the storms may be. I am feeling so blessed. And this post is just a note to myself on how I am thankful for everything that had happened. Immensly blessed. It is also a mid year check on how life had been. I must say it had been fantastic, exactly how I resolutioned it to be. To live, laugh, love. To go on more adventures. To explore. To get out of comfort zone. To be a better See Mun.

xx

Friday, May 30, 2014

GRADUATION




Waited for this day to come like forever. I don't know why but I really love the fact that I'm finally graduating. Is like another milestone achieved, and wow, look how far I've come :') I can't believe three years just gone by like that. I am so thankful and blessed, I've been showered with so much love from people around me. Even two days from Graduation, I'm still overwhelmed with happiness :)

Graduation felt so surreal and I can't believe I've finally graduated from International Business, Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Class of 2014. I never regretted not going JC, and never regretted coming to IBZ. The three years with IBZ have been nothing but unforgettable. The amount of exposure I'm gifted with and the amount of real friendships built. All the photos taken are so pretty, I can't stop looking at them over and over again. 

It's now time for the next milestone of my life, university. NTU, NBS, Business Administration. Three more years till I wear the hat!!!!!































Monday, May 19, 2014

Family








Such a blessing to have all of them in my life :')♥

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Bangkok

I went to Bangkok for my very first time from 23rd to 29th April 2014. I was in fact very active on Instagram cause I got myself an unlimited data sim card for only 299baht which is like less than SGD12. I’m lazy to pull the photos here so if you’re interested you can go my Instagram straight.

I am quite lazy to detail the trip. But anyway, I had fun. I can totally understand why tourist flock to this city because IT IS THAT GOOD.

Bangkok is a city filled with rich culture. Buddhism is everywhere and is very interesting to see the amount of people who are devoted to this belief. I am a free thinker so I was very amazed by how strong the culture is. I felt very uneasy to be honest but I respect the people for what they believe in.

The city though busty is laid back. I especially love Asiatique which was only 5mins away from where I stay. It is really a damn good place to chill at night. I chilled there for 2 nights and I will definitely pay this place a visit next time I’m back.

Bangkok’s clubbing will always be epic for me cause it was the first time I was drunk in Public. Wtf. The fact that it is overseas made it worst. In sg I club with control cause I always take care of my friends but don’t know why I drank so much that day. I puke everywhere and I am so sorry to all my friends who got to step on my puke and got their shoes dirty hahaha. It was so bad that I had my first bloody hangover that I have to cure for the whole day in bed. BAD. Never ever gonna drink so much again.

Well, and of course, shopping. I shopped a lot hahahahahah. SGD 550 were spent on 2 bags, 4 shoes, 6 rompers, 3 contact lenses, 39 tops, 24 dresses, 4 bottoms, 2 necklace, 3 nail polish, 1 cap, 1 bralet and/or more. Ok lah, but 17 tops don’t belong to me cause all of them are souvenirs for my friends and family. Everything was damn cheap, mostly ranging around SGD4-6!!!! MUST GO IS THE PRATUNAM MORNING MARKET. I spent like cray there cause is wholesale and everything is buy 3 with wholesale price so is just every shop 3, 3, 3, 3, 3 to the extent that 30+ items, SGD 230 were already spent solely at Pratunam.

The most expensive thing I brought was a chain bag at Platinum which was only SGD16, I at first quite sian cause like is the most expensive thing I brought but is damn worth really, the material is like comparable to Charles and Keith. Even my Best Friend rave about how good the quality of the bag was. So it was definitely a SGD16 worthy investment. All my clothes were very chio also and material of good material. Normally you are afraid that cheap clothes are of bad quality but trust me all my clothes are better than Bugis’s quality even my mum agrees. I totally understand now how can people go crazy in BKK hahahaha.

Sorry but I am very lazy to take photos of my loots cause is so much that my luggage is filled with clothes and my hand carry is filled with clothes. There are now lying in my room contributing to even more mess than before omg. My room is so messy, is the messiest ever, I have no time to clean AT ALL.

Oh, my luggage actually spoilt in Bangkok (ikr, wth) hence I got myself a new pink 28inch luggage at only SGD 64. I brought SGD800 in all so like only SGD200 were spent on food and transport which was not an accurate gauge on how much were spent because my friend's family was very welcoming and friendly. I didn't pay a lot as they always treat us to good meals and brought us around in the car. The best food I’ve eaten will be Thai Fishcake and Coconut Ice Cream is so simple yet so yumzzzzzz.

Gahhhh I’ve been so busy after I touch down that I only have time to reminisce 2 weeks later. I am dying to go back to Bangkok because I did not experience what I wanted to experience. There’s so much about Bangkok that I did not discover and explore. My friend’s family hosted us hence there were a lot of restrictions as compared to a pure free and easy. I didn’t control my time as much as I wish I did. I really can’t wait to go back to Bangkok, really really really. Hopefully I can find some time out this year.