LIVE LAUGH LOVE

2012-02-26T23:03:00.000+08:00

Sian, gg, how ah, dont know why but I'm only working on Friday and Saturday next week. Didn't I told the Bitch that I can work for everyday except for Thursday. Zzz. Can't be bothered to approach her also. Maybe is really time for me to leave. I will really miss my colleagues because they always make me laugh. Heehee. Today two cute and handsome jap customers came, then Mei Ling and I really nonsense lah, we scissors paper stone to see who go order, i lost but in the end I took their order. HAHAHAHAHA. Then when they leave, Mei Ling said arigato gozaiyimaz then they said back arigato gozaiyimaz which sounded damn nice cuz they jap. Then Mei Ling say See you tomorrow then they laugh, omggggg, so cute, then the both of us can't stop laughing non-stop, fa hua chi. Will really miss this kind of nonsense time we have while looking at hot guys, looking at cute babies and children. And a lot of nonsense, bi jing, unknowingly, it had been more than a year. Really hope Kumon replies my email and moe quickly approve my relief teaching. I have no time to waste.

It's Sunday

2012-02-26T15:44:00.000+08:00

So long since I'm doing nothing on a Sunday. A free Sunday. Not really but still quite enjoying it. Cleaned my room today. Damn dirty omg. I still haven't throw away those notes I made for O's. I mean is so pretty and is my hard work, just can't bear to throw them away. And my birthday presents are all hidden somewhere and I'll only realize them when I tidy my room. Ouch. I still haven't clean the windows, wash the curtains and hang up my bed curtains. Someday someday. Having work later. But is raining damn heavily now. Sianz. How I wish I can just nua on my bed, catch movies in this perfect weather.

Monte Carlo

2012-02-26T03:47:00.000+08:00

Thanks Jin Wei for reminding me of this movie. Wanted to watch it when it was out in the cinemas but as always I didn't find time out for it. Love the movie! Thought it was not bad :) Quite cute! I want to go Paris someday! Such a beautiful place. Selena and Leighton are so pretty pretty too!

I'm such a pig, laying on my bed blogging, laying on my bed watching the movie.My first time actually using my lappy on my bed. Pig, is time to sleep. Now, go sleep.

500 days of Summer

2012-02-25T15:37:00.001+08:00

Hmm, maybe I didn't quite get the movie. Was neutral to me. I didn't even cry or feel touched, lol, bo shiok ah. But the ending really lol. So the girl got married. And the guy met Autumn. Sometimes, in life, you'll just never know what is meant to be.

Not feeling good today. Woke up at 1pm but cause I slept at like 5 in the morning I think. Tired and feeling nothing, just feel like cuddling on my bed for the whole damn day. But I can't.

Yesterday night, after so long, I took everything out to read. I smile, I laugh, my heart sank. I wrote a letter, sealed it. But I guess it will never be given out. You got the ending, answered, from the very start. But what's different is that at the very start, you thought it would have ended by then which it didn't but eventually it did.

Dear John

2012-02-25T02:50:00.003+08:00

Just done with Dear John. Another teary me. But this time I cried less. This plot had a lot more hanging. I still thought The Notebook was better. Nevertheless nice movie. Nicholas Sparks is a good author indeed. Quite enjoying how I'm spending time catching some movies which is new and good :) 500 days of Summer tomorrow when I wake up :) But first, I think I should clean up my room, tidy it up a bit, and get ready for Year 2 I guess, like throwing stuffs that I've accumulated in Year 1 away, do we even need them anyway. Shall see what time I'll wake up tomorrow. Sleeping like a pig these days, waking up naturally, having only just a meal a day. Which is good cause is like on diet and I like. I should really start exercising or else my weigh will be at risk. And, come to think of it, only 2 days of my holidays have started, there's so much more to do to fill up the rest of the 51 days. Awww, how good 51 sounds.

I feel good today, not the sad me that I've been the past 2 days. Telling myself to just try my best, to not think so much. Nobody know what the future holds, who knows, dad or mum might win a lottery tomorrow. At times, I need not be so hard on myself, I bear what I can hold, and you and they know you've tried your best. I should stop thinking ahead, worrying but rather just go with the flow. You're young my dear, don't let things hold you down, although it's much easier to be said, but I'll try. I know I'm still restricted but well, make the best out of what you have. I'll only be having $150 next month as I didn't work due to the exams, and it'll be spent on all the birthday babies, i thought spending time with them should come first above any other else, true. Jiayou, seemun, you are the controller of your emotions, if you believe, you will, just keep feeding yourself hope, strength and faith every single day, you will walk through it sooner or later even before you know it. Positive thinking, positive thinking.

Everyone feels broken sometimes, but it's alright.
If you try the best you can, the best you can is good enough.

You are more than the choices you've made.
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes.
Don't let them hold you down.
Don't hide yourself in regret and guilt.
Set yourself free.

Life is just a moment, you might as well enjoy this day.
It's time to start believing that everything you want is on it's way.
Things are gna change now, for the better, trust me.

The heart is stronger than you think.
It's like it can go through anything,
even when you think it can't,
it finds a way to still,
push on though.

Even if it's hard, you just gotta be happy.
Just remember to smile, and that's good enough.
Chin up, beautiful.

XX

The Notebook

2012-02-24T15:55:00.001+08:00

Just caught The Notebook. Such a nice movie, can't believe i miss this for so long. Life back then in the 40s, are so simple, they can just roll a boat in the river. Lol. Shall be catching a movie every single day. 500 days of summer. Dear John. I don't know, there's more, I want to watch those sad sad sad movies, I want to cry as the movie plays. I actually love watching movies and dramas that actually make people tears. Am I weird lol. And maybe some old black and white movies. Breakfast at Tiffany's maybe. Miss those nice movies that Mr Glover showed us backed then in Secondary School. I feel good today, slept till the noon, mum didn't woke me up for a jog, tsktsk. My eyes are tired lol shall get ready for work :)

2012-02-23T13:12:00.002+08:00

Sighs. This is stupid. I'm suppose to be happy. But I'm not. This holiday I'll just sunk in deeper. Wake up felt like crying looking at the messages. It sound as though I'm not willing, I'm fine with it, really, but I sound as though I'm not and I don't want people to get the wrong idea. Sighs. Is so difficult, you can't be true to yourself, wear a mask, learn to not easily show my emotions, even if its fucking breaking and hurting inside, clench your fucking teeth and be strong bitch. What is this. Just wanna lie on my bed and never wake up and just hibernate forever. Stupid. I shall go missing in action, no facebook, no sims social, no blogging, no phone calls and messages, no tweeting, just go missing and never come back. Let's try this. So that I can sunk deep and not express anything to make myself feel better. Actually I don't think can, lol, wtv. Then mum is finding job when I woke up. It really aches me, my heart is so painful, I really can't stop crying. Fuck all these shits. Blasting music trying to block all the thoughts. Help :'( Feeling fucking inferior also, why am I so ugly and fat, urgh. Hate for myself so so much.

FREEDOM

2012-02-23T00:39:00.002+08:00

Just wanna start off with this super awkz photo with the A&F model. You see the gap, hahahahahaha, omg, damn awkz. I'm gna go and take again ok. Besides, Grace and I gna try to work at A&F, heehee, wish us luck manz! :D

So today was the LAST PAPER. FUCKYEAH. I just damn slack for this paper I swear. I rolled around my bed while revising, kept falling asleep cause the weather shiok what no=x I happily blasted music at 5 plus in the morning and slowly put on make up and dress myself up. Every last paper liddat, holiday mood tsk. The paper was screwed. Mr Yam really one annoying teacher, tell us all chapters are tested then in the end only chapters after CTs are tested. Kcan, nevermind, then there's one stupid last question of 26 marks that fucking trolled everyone. Is like da fuck, nobody knows how to do. He still happily come and collect the script when all of us like screamt at him for the fucking difficult paper.Waulau, simi teacher is this, tsktsk, rage ah rage. Aiya, everyone just do damn badly, and we all get pulled up by bell curve alright^^

And yah, my SV gift really damn troll. Is funny lah, but is just damn hurtful for me, the receiver. So it's like he say he notice my hair is getting shorter and shorter so he hopes this might help. And you know what? It is a prevent hair fall shampoo or something then it also came with a pouch which was yellowish and dirty. I quite angry and pissed lah, cause to me right, you want give, give nice nice then in the end. Aiya, you know what, kcan, Gilda is right since I wanted to play I'm just gna accept it but since it is worthless to me I'll just dumped it in the bin.

So after exam, went out with my girls, as Gilda has Committee Meeting, Grace and Jamie went to dye their hair, so Pris, Amanda and I accompanied Jing home. I don't know why but suddenly on the train my version damn blur, no energy, and I just like literally collapsed on the floor for damn long. I was really eff up cause like what the fuck is happening to me. My girls just ask me to calm down and not panic. Really, I don't know how to say, I've never experience this before, is really blur version, feel like vomiting, no energy, head pounding. Worst moment of my life seriously. Is just damn creepy lah, like I think I can die anytime, the blur version is really scary cause it lasted for damn long, idk, from like Bishan to Macperson I think. Just wna thank my girls for being by my side during that time :') Really damn sweet. We overshot our station and they just let me sit there till I feel better. Jing still went to buy Plum drink and sour sweets for me to eat. Then is like because of me we just like wasted an hour for me to rest and gain back some energy and vision. Then we also cab to Jing's house. When I reached Jing's house, I just lied on the sofa after lunch and slept. Felt so much better after the sleep but head still like heavy.

Then we cab down to Far East to meet Grace, Gilda and Jamie. Hahaha, we quite cute uh, curious how does the ERP charges so we questioned the Taxi Uncle. I didn't knew we would be doing so much walking. And I was fucking wearing heels. Is like walking from far east to ion to far east to scape. I brought a plain tee and summer hat from Diaso. Shall do some diy on the plain tee someday^^ We also brought bunny ears cause Pris birthday is coming, on 1 March! :D Also brought a round shades! Yay, anyway is only 6.90 so ok, I shall not feel guilty for spending. So we told photo with A&F model as shown above, awkz photo, really cannot help but to laugh at this awkz photo. We went to scape brought breezer and just lepak and took photos for a while.

On the way home, my leg really can't tank anymore, I just sat on the floor from City Hall all the way to Boon Lay, glam much eh. Then I thirsty then no water only got left over breezer so I just drank, hahahah, really like some depression girl or something. Furthermore, don't know if it's the beer or the noon, just like damn warm and head abit heavy. But well, I survived back home so I guess I'm fine. Don't know what the fuck happened to me, I chose to believe it is due to the accumulated lack of rest during exams period or maybe stress or maybe contacts.

So, yayyyy, exams are finally over, for good, actually I really know I'm gna do worst this sem than the previous. Mainly because of Bcomm which will just fucking pull my GPA down. Sigh. And, idk lah, all the modules just difficult lah. Aiya, sian whatever, enjoy my life till 16th April before I'm a FUCKING YEAR 2. Time flies man, is like my Year 1 just officially ended today, gg, I don't even know what have happened over the past one year in year one manz. And since I'm not involved in IBZ camp and I'm not gna be there as a camper anyway just aiya dont see the point, so yay, more free time for me. Just left baow i tink. Aiya, actually I really cannot be bothered to do all these things lah, I just don't really like to socialize and meet strangers. Just doing it for the sack of CCA points. Idk just couldn't find the passion to be a leader to be involved like how I did in secondary school for choir.

Ok, I shall sleep and sleep as long as I want or just never wake up because there's no more exams, there's no more projects, is just 7 fucking weeks of freedom. Not really, but oh well, sighs, really need to earn money, hais. Feeling sad and head damn heavy, don't know if it's the drink, the incident in the noon or the night. Aiya, fuck this shit lah, today has been a good and bad day, sleep it away. I actually dread going to work. People enjoy, go out, go flea, go chalet then I need to work. Aiya, I don't know lah, I feel sad, really, but well, I gotta be realistic. Sigh sigh sigh. I love to sigh. Sighing is the only way you tell yourself things will get better.

I love black and white cause I don't know. I like black cause I'm black.

2012-02-21T18:55:00.000+08:00

So excited about the holidays that I'm having no motivation to study for my last paper. Sigh. Hmmm. I'm looking forward to meet ups, family and me time. I want to buy studs, I want to buy paint, I want to buy fabric. I want to read, I want to run, I want to escape, I want to explore places that I've never been before, I want picnic, I want walks, I want photo shots. I want to feel carefree, nua on my bed on cooling weather like this, knowing that when I wake up the next day there's no projects to rush, or tests to mug for. Can I do all these stuffs in the seven week vacation? I hope I can. I shall and will find time.

Heehee, ending off with a picture of myself cause I'm bored.

Urgh, bitch, study damnit.

2012-02-20T18:59:00.001+08:00

Maybe is a good thing that exams are around. Because I'm so so so tired and drained. I revise for a paper, do the paper feeling nothing, end the paper feeling nothing, go home crash and revise for another paper. Maybe my tiredness is taking over all my other senses. But somehow I love how I'm treating myself now, late nights, no sleep or lack of sleep, the walking zombie feeling, the hungriness as the night falls, hmmm, it sucks but somehow I like it. LOL. Crazy. I like how I feel light, as though my soul is detached from my body, is like I'm walking and doing everything aimlessly. Maybe I don't even know what I'm doing now. Paper was.. I don't know, not feeling anything at all, but many said it was difficult, not sure, am glad I finish the paper. What's up next? ACF. Just one more to go.

Yesterday night and today morning was great. A nice conversation that warms my heart :') Happened to see Xiao Yuan in the morning, just when I was missing her, asking Zong Sheng if you think we'll see Xiao Yuan and she appeared :> It's like magic. Felt amazed by that moment that she really appear immediately before my eyes after I ended the sentence. She was rushing so I didn't approach her but the sight of her, heeehee, warms my heart. Miss her so much! Every time I study, I miss how she's always by my side giving me the support I need. Miss those times :')

Let everything be over pretty pretty soon please. There's so many things I need to do. I can't wait to meet everyone that I've been missing. Ajisen quite stupid, so at first working 6-10 on wed then suddenly 6-9 on thurs. Eh, wahlao, 3hrs so lame. And I shall try to make a top for myself this holiday :) Hungry hungry shall have dinner and get started! XX.

2012-02-17T21:14:00.002+08:00

No sleep hence the walking zombie. Paper was easy but I didn't had time to finish so fml. Too tired so I crashed all the way till 7pm. Received a good news but i got to pass. Feeling like a piece of shit now yay. Im gna study bye. What a retarded post. Physically, mentally and emotionally drain I would say. Urgh. You're hopeless. Wish you were here. Why the sadness as the night falls. Sigh. This is dumb. If I die young. All of the above.

Happy V'Day ♥

2012-02-14T02:41:00.005+08:00

Happy V'Day all! ♥♥♥

Just want to shout out to all my awesome friends out there!

Thanks for all those unforgettable memories we had! :')

Thanks for growing with me!

Thanks for being there!

Thanks for accepting me for who, I am :')

You know who you are, there's too many to list.

My bff, my secondary school mates, my poly mates, my colleagues ♥

All of which, are very important people, who paint my life with colors :')

And on top of all, my loving family ♥

My dad, My mum and my little brothers ♥

Sigh, I'm trying to sleep but I can't again. Urgh. Thinking about when I should return to work. Actually I want to quit but I need money. And I have no idea where can I find jobs higher than $6/hr that is near and flexible. I don't like the environment, but it's okay, i'll hang in there. They can look, they can say but just don't touch then I'm fine. It's just damn disgusting when you know people are looking at you, yuck. And how on earth did I survived for more than a year, my mum asked, when she just quit after 2 months plus. Well, because I know I need this job. Because I know dad is suffering much much more than I am.

Really need money for March. Thinking to start immediately after papers on Wednesday because I only have four days more till 25th before the pay for February ends. But I don't know, there are plans which are uncertain yet. I don't know which should I be sacrificing. Then comes, ibz chalet from 27-29th, hmmm, should I go, should I use the time to work instead.

Le sigh. Mum just quit her work. So yah, dad is the sole bread winner once again. Thus, with this holidays, I really need and should earn as much as I can. Sigh. I'm aiming to spend only hundred per month, including transport fees, I hope I can! Don't think can, cause there's many birthday babies recently, lol. And, I need some time for my loved ones too. I really hope everyone can understand. Worst come to worst, I'll just walk from my house to Jp suah, can save like $1.50 to and fro siah, and a month like $45 wtf, sounds damn good.

Ohwell, ohwell, I don't know, I'll try my best. Planning to treat parents to a good dinner once again like last year for Mother's Day, Mum's Birthday, Dad's Birthday and Father's Day. LOL, 4-in-1 ok =x Sorry, poor daughter but a very sweet daughter ok, heehee, is the thought that counts right? :) I'm a far sighted girl ok. I've even have plans for my darling already. Heehee, weeee.

Please do us some mercy, is like 1 year plus already, can everything start to ease please. Actually I don't mind and I don't complain (I do mind, I do complain to myself, but as in I understand and I'm willing to walk thru all this), but, well, I want everyone to be burden free from this. Money makes the world goes round. Well, it does. Money acts as the medium of exchange. For goods and services, for electricity, for water, for necessities, everything needs money, is not easy really, and all the red bills and the termination of internet connection and phone lines are just common.

I don't believe in any religion, but here I am, I wish for god, buddah, someone up there, to hear my cries, to let everything ease by mid of the year. If this continues to drag, I'm really worried for my ShangHai XiaMen, Hong Kong and ShengZheng trip. I'll just rather not go. That big outflow will be harmful. Ohwell, if only I don't over think and put myself in this state.

If only my brother can be more sensible, to stop focusing on badminton and totally not giving a fuck about n'lvls. When I try to talk to him nicely, really very nicely, not reprimanding, but giving him open ended questions, he say don't try to push my limits, I don't want to fight with you. I really don't know how can I help him. He even wants to go ITE, like just directly, cause he cannot be bothered. You really tink badminton can earn you a living? Wake up please. Playing badminton every single day, you really think such a tough practice will do you good? I wish for you to hurt yourself one day so that you can wake up. Harsh, but I guess that is the only way that will make you learn. You know you can do so much better, why don't you try, why don't you make sacrifices, why don't you grow up, why don't you be realistic.

And my little brother with his tempers, and reaching home late everyday, and his devotion for basketball. Is okay, is the road of growing up, I just hope he turns out to be a good man, and not be affected by any bad people around him. Because I have so much faith in him.

Sighs, being the eldest, does have many responsibilities to bear eh. I don't say it, but I do notice, I'm trying my best, silently, helping whenever I can, because this family is so much to me. I shall try my best to sleep now, I'm having a three day war with blaw. Not confident, not confident, ohwell. Sometimes I wonder, why am I so sensible, LOL, not trying to compliment myself, but yah. If only I wasn't. Perhaps, I'm born to be like this, to grow up at a young age, to be independent, maybe this is why I'm liddat, god set obstacles and they want me to be a strong girl so that I can help my family :')

I love my mummy and daddy, more than anything else ♥ Thanks for everything. I will be a good daughter. I still want to bring you guys to Korea to see the snow :') You guys keep me going :') Oh, and looks like we need a new family photo, heeehee.

XX.

Masks.

2012-02-13T12:45:00.002+08:00

Masks. How many do you have? How many secrets do you hide?

I'm quite a transparent person aren't I. As in, I'm straight forward, I don't really think before I say, I don't really think about my actions. True? So, do I have masks? I think I do. So does everyone, the most common mask that everyone wears is pretending to be happy and strong even though things may be collapsing in us. Actually mine aren't big problems, and I should most probably stop thinking. Well, I really hope I could. Time prove that I'm still stagnant. But I really look up to people who still shine everyday even though life is a bitch. Every one have their story. Ever since that night, things hasn't been great. I hate when one day I suddenly drift into those moments and I'll be stuck there for a few days or so. And maybe is because of study break, and the fact that I'm alone at home, it allowed me to have time to pause and think. I rather go back to my busy life schedule, so that I have no time to pause and think, and just blinding spend my days away.

I hate how I haven't been focusing on my studies. Is stupid cause I often drift into some useless space. I really want to salute to my old self. That girl who doesn't even need sleeps, who doesn't even stop herself from studying. I salute. And I want to go back there.

I should do something good this coming holiday. I have people in mind, all planned up in my head. And, I will. To make a change that I've always want to. To make more effort. In this year when I'm turning 18, I hope that on December 13, 2012, nine more months later, I can tell myself I've been a better woman. To spend more time, to let people know I love them when they can still hear me. Is difficult to find time, but I'm the one who controls my own watch, I myself chose how I spend my time. To really slim down, laughs, bitch, you're fucking heavy. And, maybe do something I love, really interested in Do It Yourself stuffs. I would pretty much wish to make clothes for myself :) And, I pray to let me get in to Fashion & Design for my IS module, to let me pursue in something I'm super interested in. Sometimes I wonder, being such an art person, why am I pursuing business. And, to find time for myself. To read. I miss reading. I did had a wonderful time during Sec 4, reading, although it was forced to, lol, but yeap, love nicholas sparks. I want to hold up to my words because this year I'm turning 18. And to me, at the age of 18, it is time when you learn and slowly transform to be a strong, responsible woman.

XX

2012-02-11T21:03:00.003+08:00

What should I do.

How should I address this situation.

May be I'm just too sensitive.

I love how things are now,

but it's getting wrong,

but how can I make things right.

Even if we were to be back to the beginning,

will things end up the same?

Learn to forgive,

stop being so hard on yourself.

左右为难...

嗐! 不止左右，

东南西北都为难 :(

Life :')

Stars for a Cause

2012-02-09T22:04:00.000+08:00

How this show never fails to make me appreciate my life and also at the same time wishing I can reach out to those in need. Actually, I'm very grateful that since I entered Ngee Ann Poly, it allowed me to have chances to reach out to those in need in the society. Firstly, thanks to TCP, the act of giving bread to those in need inspired my classmates to do the same. And this started of a chain effect in our course, to help those families and individuals in Clementi. Following, the module RWA, with activites such as community service, earth day and children's day, it lead us to appreciate our lives more.

When you do a good deed, you will naturally feel happy. And by doing a good deed, you're also bringing smiles across their faces. I'm happy to have brought smiles to their faces. And when you are doing it as a group, it feels even better, because it is multiplied by 48. Everyone has a beautiful heart, and I'm happy to have such pretty souls with me over these three years.

I've been wondering how in the future, can I lend a helping hand. How can I make the world a better place. Because there's so many people out there that needs our help. In the future, I want to make a difference, to bring smiles across faces, to make people's life better. We are fortunate, really, to have electricity, to own a laptop, to be educated..

I really think coming into poly has changed my thinking, to be a better woman. And my friends have also brought me new perspectives into life. Day by day, I hope I'm becoming a better person, a caring, giving, understanding, sensitive person. I still dwell on the past, I still question myself daily without making any moves, I'm still afraid. But one day, I want to forgive myself, I want to bring things back, I want to make a difference and I know I can. When there's a will there's a way.

Something that I've learnt from the show:
"Donations will only be 1-1=0 however an idea will be 1+1+1+.....= To infinity and beyond."
Rather than using money for donation, rather, create an idea, a way that you can help those in need, that is a better way of charity.

That's the reason why there's engineers and scientists because they create ideas, for humanitarians to reach out, for media to spread awareness and lastly for entrepreneurs to put everything together and make it happen. It is only when the world come together, then will we make a change, to make this world, a better place, for you and I.

You're one strong girl

2012-02-09T13:25:00.002+08:00

Really admire Emma Watson. She's one strong confident lady.
Came upon it on tumblr and it brought me into tears as I'm also in that similar situation.
I'm grateful to have my family, a happy and loving one.
I know my parents isn't rich.
My mum have to work after 16 years.
She complaints every single day and I can see how tired she is.
My dad is silent but I know he has a lot of burdens to bear, a lot of bills and loans to clear.
Being the sole breadwinner aren't easy in supporting a family of 5.
And, it actually pains me to see how he is getting older and older day by day with his white hair.
That is why I always work hard in my studies, and work at the same time, because I want to help them.
I want them to know I appreciate their love, their scarifies, their pain.
At a age of 17, near 18, I do have cravings.
I can just spend money care-freely like how some does, but I don't.
Shucks, crying uncontrollably now.
I'm very disappointed at how slacken I've been this sem.
From a AD for MAEC to a B for MIEC Common Test.
This is just unacceptable.
I need full As this time round.
And I know I can do it.
Alright, chin up, you can do it, let's go.

2012-02-06T16:48:00.000+08:00

The world is complicated. Humans are complicated. I'm complicated. Why do I never seem to end this misery. Insecurities. I need to stop getting affected. One day I will forgive myself, I hope. Because if that one day never comes, I'll just drown myself in misery every single time. And that, is unhealthy. Chin up, darling.

Life gets tough but the tough gets going

2012-02-06T09:41:00.002+08:00

I'm thinking of letting my hair grow, NOT CUTTING IT, till like maybe August or something, so that before Shanghai Xiamen trip I'll have a medium bob, like that above and maybe undercut again. Hahahahahaha. Nonsense Bitch. Really don't know why you like to change your hairstyle so much. When I told my parents, my dad damn cute, he say yah, you need your hair to keep you warm, laughs. Cause the news was just showing the newest record of people being freeze to death in China. Hahahaha, cute. Sianzzzzz. Hate studying. All I can think about is what will happen after 11am on 22nd Feb. I'll have some commitments, I guess. Firstly, baow, i have no idea what i'll be doing, but probably something :/ And, ibzcamp, which I have no idea about my roles still. But all of which will be happening during this long holiday. I'm afraid these commitments will leave me less time for work or even spend a week with my family in Msia. But I really need to work, sigh, cause I need to save up at least 1k for Shanghai Xiamen trip. And, above all, I NEED TO STOP SHOPPING. Actually I am what. Never really shop much at all these days. Tempted but not gna. Sighs, to save money, I'm like half a year away from the trip and probably hope I can save as much as I could. Actually I'm glad that I paid my school fees myself, 380+ the moment I received my pay, leaving me only 80+ dollars, is good cause I don't have money to spend on unnecessary stuffs. And what is necessary will only be transport, and if no choice, some meals here and there. Ohwell. I'm always worrying about the future, being in this situation for too long has cause me to plan the usage of my money ahead, 1k, omg, how am I going to do this, i really don't wna take money from my parents. They have already paid for my air tickets and accommodations, the rest shall leave it to me. And, fyi, 1k is the minimum, is best I can save another 1k more? Dayummmmmmm. People really need to understand. I'm not like you guys, I work to 'support' myself, spare a thought.

Happy week

2012-02-03T11:15:00.004+08:00

This week had been great. I feel relaxed with all the projects coming to an end. I've been sleeping for 12 hours for two consecutive days. LOL. But, actually, exams is exactly just two weeks away, omfg. Yesterday was the best of the week because we get to spend a day with kids. I didn't thought so much about outfit so i just wore the zombified Audrey Hepburn top from treadless but to be denied by many when they saw it. Everyone say it was damn scary and it will scare the kids away. LOL. And I really did, laughs, one boy said, she's a ghost pointing to my shirt. And I feel damn insecure when everyone look at my top ok. Like eeeyer, why you looking at me. Seriously didn't knew the top will BE SO DAMN ATTENTION SEEKING.

They are kids whose family has problems. But they are damn adorable. My kid was naughty, damn active, damn energetic, damn lively and super duper cute. She really got me tired. She's pulling me everywhere manz. But nevertheless I enjoyed it, a lot. The walk was so much meaningful with the kids. I love the walk, would love to go back, but I'm super duper afraid of the monkeys. After that, ibz packed food and went to the roof top at vivo to have dinner. It was nice, the atmosphere was nice, everything was nice. I was very tired so I went off with Grace and Amanda first. Did some window shopping. How I wish I have the money. But no, I need to pay my school fees once pay is out. Shall not burden my parents. And thank god there's no much schooling anymore.

Alright, I've been wanting to study since 10 but just cant bring myself to it so I decided to blog like how I always did. Three consecutive days of work coming, that's why I must study before I work so that I won't waste my long weekend away, really need to do well for finals becuz I can't pull my gpa any lower. Stupid bcomm, burden siah. Oh and did I mention, I'm happy with my rwa results that I burst into tears of happiness. Actually I really love to cry lah, poly friends don't see that much only, ask my old friends, they know how i can cry at almost everything. The time wasted on not enjoying my cny was worthwhile. Let's hope the time spent this two weeks on mugging will be worthwhile. I really need to perform well, I always freak myself out during finals hence performing badly. Please don't pull my gpa any lower, 3.72 cannot go any lower anymore. Is like I have to get all A so that stupid bcomm wont pull me down so much, urgh, burden siah lah wtf. I tink I'll most probably get a C for bcomm lohz. Dayummmmmm. I was damn happy when Terence and Chester said I improved in my skills just to be face palmed by bcomm teacher that the idea was not persuasive enuff, oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Oh and ibz is playing secret valentine, hahahaha, i wonder whose mine, and i changed my no. so i really dk who my secret valentine will be, lol, wth. I hope my secret valentine give sth i want, LOL. Anddddddddddddddd, #npibz trend first in Singapore on Tuesday 31st January!!! Woohoo, fuck yea, we really buzy tweeting #npibz, our hard work paid off, so many of us were banned from twitter manz, laughs, even me, dayummmmmm. Oh, and I love my red hair. Heeheee.

Fatto-a-mano

2012-01-28T22:33:00.001+08:00

Hihi. Had been working on this recently. Well, is for my project, and I'm so proud of it. The logo very chio leh. Hahaha. ITB is a easy module but it wastes a lot of time for you to use technology to integrate into your project. Photoshop, twitter, tumblr, facebook, website. Waulau. Worst still, need to maintain and always update. Urgh. So, if anyone is reading this, please kindly like us (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Fatto-a-mano/224093410999247), follow us on twitter (https://twitter.com/#!/Fatto_amano) and tumblr (http://fatto-a-mano.tumblr.com/) and you can feel free to visit our shop too, although we're not selling (http://www.wix.com/seemunakajasmine/fattoamano#!)

Basically, what's left is just ITB, BLAW and BCOMM. By Tuesday noon, I'll be officially free from any deadlines or projects, yayyyyyyy (Y) Sian ah, BCOMM idk what to do, sianzballzzzzzzzzz. How to use $100,000 for a good cause. Ohboy, wo zhen de bu zhi dao. Not fair loh. Not only testing for presentation skills, also testing your creativity leh.

So, I guess it is a good start to Feb. But hell no, exams starting on the 17th, the fug. Meaning I have just two weeks to study. Gg. Hardcore study. Sianzzzzzz. I damn sianz ever since I return from Msia. Is damn sian can, everywhere cny songs, everyone dong dong dong qiang, everyone having Reunion dinner than here I am having no relatives to visit, staying at home don't know do what. Rwa lah, or else I can chill longer. Wait, I didn't even chilled, the hell. Sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz. Can't wait for these sem to end manz, 22nd last paper.

Life. Hais. Keep going.

2012-01-26T02:00:00.000+08:00

So long since I drowned myself in sad music, and all those memories come gushing back, reminding me how a failure i have been, i am. I hate myself. For not being a good lover, a good friend, a good daughter, a good student, a good me. Late at night when everything you have tried to block off in the day comes rushing. I will be alright, just not tonight.

年初三

2012-01-25T19:19:00.002+08:00

I'm back. This trip back had been fast. It's less lively. Due to the leaving of wai gong and ma ma, many chose not to come back. But, still, the festival goes on. I've yet to enjoy much, as I was mugging for RWA. Sad life. Go where also carry notes, tsk. Nevertheless, did took some time out for some relaxation and bonding. Best memory was when relatives and I sat outside the house, eating, drinking and chilling, fireworks and kongming lantern filled up the skies :) Simply breath taking. Haha, and had one joke that stuck in my mind. Biao Jie was saying cousins and relatives must meet often or else may accidentally become couple then when meet the parent session, eh (shockingly) your parent is my aunt. Hahahaha. Really damn funny, cause my cousin just came, he's like 25 and i have totally no idea who he is. And time flies manz, everyone is growing, i'm like eighteen already manz. This really caught me thinking. Even though the elderly have left, but we still need to meet and gather uh, or else future really become total strangers manz. Tsk. And the fact that I'm turning eighteen soon, I am like an adult already, i have to be responsible for my words and actions, be more wise and mature. I really need to slowly transform myself into a woman.

Sometimes life in Malaysia is good. It's much simple and care free. How I wish I can stay there forever. I don't want to be back to Singapore, because here, I have to face the reality. Life goes on, and here goes my endless night and days of studying. I do admit this trip is way too short. Will be going back in March. Sianz. Bye. Got this feeling RWA test gna be damn screwed, is just way too wide, how can world affairs be even tested manz :(

2012-01-21T12:22:00.001+08:00

The past two days were fulfilling :D

On Thurs went to Jing's house to film our blaw vid after school. Great time with my girls. Laughed like mad. I was the patient. Jing and Gilda were doctors. Amanda was the nurse. Jamie was the lawyer. We wrapped up pretty late, close to 11. Didn't wanted to cab home so I tried to catch the last train but failed, hence slept over at Gilda's house. Basically we just did our own work.

Was supposed to meet Lydia at 7pm at Bugis. So I didn't went home and met her straight. Lazy uh, from Paya Lebar to Boon Lay then Boon Lay to Bugis. Didn't knew she'll be reaching early, because I didn't checked my phone. Lucky she called, or else GG. Shopping at Bugis was.. hmmm.. tiring. I was doing some last minute CNY shopping for my family. Guys shopping is really darn difficult, thank god I'm not a guy manz. The selection is so little. Tsk. Pretty satisfied with the buys. It's really different when you spent money on others rather than yourself. Can't wait to see everyone cladding in their new clothes! :D

Yeap. So I guess basically many people have seen my new hair already. I tink this hair makes me face looks smaller. LOLZ. Heehee. Sianz, tomorrow then go back, why so late, I don't like, ohwell, I gotta study RWA now, no time to lose. Stupid RWA, making me come back on Wed already, zzz.

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! ♥♥♥

New hair for CNY

2012-01-15T14:55:00.001+08:00

Nice color but maybe not a nice hair cut. I totally look like a boy now. I need to dress more feminine to dump the boyish look. The triangle slope behind really makes me look a boy. Oh boy.

Keep going

2012-01-14T11:58:00.004+08:00

Glad that things are going more in place now. I've been over thinking, panicking and worrying too much. Guess what I need to do is not to over think but to just take my time and do my best in trying to cover and accomplish more stuffs. Yesterday alone, although I didn't do much but I manage to complete miec article assignment which I feel damn awesome about :> Stress is getting into me, and is not good, because I feel lousy and restless. Ohwell. One more week to Msia. I need some get away. But, well, I'll be bringing my lappy over because I've got studies to catch up on. But at least, a new environment, a cozy and familiar environment, filled with love and laughter. Just a new environment to get me back on track. Caffeine is my boost even though I'm intolerant to it, but to stay awake, I got to. Really need to get started, must finish blaw and miec before I head for work! And, tomorrow's gna be great, dad just got bonus and we're gna have dinner and do some cny shopping tomorrow. So long since we indulge in some good stuffs as a family. Heehee, weeeeee, and I'm gna do my hair. Hopes Lydia can join me tomorrow!^^ Anw, I tink I damn lousy, because I feel so unmotivated and uninspired, I've been looking for quotes to motivate myself. Lol, wth.

For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice.

2012-01-12T20:13:00.000+08:00

Damn stress. Hell lot of projects and I don't know where to start. I don't know how to allocate work to others. And hence I'm bearing everything myself. Just so depress these days. So damn stress. Felt like crying for the whole damn day. Sighs. Miss Ng told me parent's letter ain't allowed hence meaning I have to be back on 25th for test. But dad still insist he wanna try persuading my teacher. But is like urgh. I just don't go back lo. I'm making the sacrifice here, not you guys anyway. Aiya, fuck lah, idk. Help ;( When you express yourself, you break down in tears. Sometimes, I just need a listening year, but what's there to listen about anyway. Breath in, breathe out, you can do this, dry those tears now ;(

Present

2012-01-12T10:31:00.000+08:00

Cherish the present.

Make the best out of today.

Nothing worth having, comes easy

2012-01-11T22:03:00.001+08:00

I'm depressed. Disappointed. Got a fucking B for bullshits that I've placed my heart and soul in. Maybe I am the only one to be blame. Because I screw up my individual reflection as I did it last minute while at work during break, via phone. But still, it felt undeserving. Is like I did so much and I was graded so badly. While on the other hand, others did nothing and got even higher grades, a A somemore. I wna like kill myself. I was stupid to let them get the credits for the work I've and We've done, not they've done. I cried. In front of teacher. Really damn sorry about that. In the end teacher need to comfort me, lol. But is just damn piss and sad, you know. Because I've really done almost everything, from the start to the very end with the help of Jing and Amanda. But the others just did nothing, and only did what we told them, not taking any initiatives at all. And wtf, they got the better grade. As the reports are graded on the group as a whole, so the report we did, they got the credit for it too. Kjustfuckitman. Is like hardwork and all the sacrifices going down the drain. I was stupid lah, why so stupid, always so independent, always wna do everything yourself. Even projects till now, I just need to do everything myself cause no one bother asking and I just really damn lazy to be bothered already. Fml. Always doing more but in the end, deserving the least. That's the hard fact eh, things behind the scenes will never be known, no matter how much effort you've placed in yourself, it is seen to be a group effort. Sighs, okae, I gna work on project now, really need to pull up my grades. Nothing worth having comes easy, and this is the price i need to pay. Jiayou, SeeMun, this is not the time to drown yourself in misery, you should use this fall as a force to motivate yourself to work even harder. BULLSHIT, FCKINGSADLAH, KBYE.

omg which pixie cut

2012-01-09T17:31:00.002+08:00

1. Don't know if can not cause my fringe not that long

2. Kindda similar to above picture and kindda similar to what I'm having now.

3. Damn short pixie cut.

4. Super similar to mine now, but I damn lazy to style.

5. Very similar to mine now tooooo.

6. Short side bangs pixie

7. Bangs pixie

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG, IDK WHICH TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. PEOPLE READING THIS CAN TELL ME WHICH NUMBER YOU GUYS PREFER ON MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE??? MY MUM SAY TO GO FOR EITHER EMMA'S ONE OR THE BANGS PIXIE ABOVE CAUSE THESE ARE TOTALLY ANOTHER DIFFERENT STYLE FROM NAO. BUT IDK, CAUSE MY FACE VERY BIG, I SCARE LATER BIGGER. URGH. IDKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. NEED TO MAKE UP MY MIND ASAP CAUSE DURING CNY SALON ALL FULLY BOOK BOOK BOOK. BUT DAMN SIAN IF I CUT BANGS PIXIE CAUSE NEED TO DYE BACK BLACK WHICH IS SO EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. OKAY, I REALLY REALLY DKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG, HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. COMMENT PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. OR TELL ME PERSONALLY. OR FB. OR TWITTER. OMG, ANYWAY POSSIBLE LAH. CHOPCHOP K. I SUNDAY GNA DO IT ALRDY. KTHXBYE.

Happy 18th Birthday Amanda ♥

2012-01-08T23:03:00.001+08:00

Today headed out to City Hall to give my dear Amanda a birthday surprise! :D So Guardian and Watson having 20% sale, why I stupid got Robinson buy at 10% sale arh?! Knvm, made a loss of $2 only. So we went to Thai Express. And we made a damn retard surprise. Laughs. We covered our face with the menu and when Amanda reach the table we leave it down and said suprizeeeeeeeeee. Hahahaha. She damn cute, she really thought she and Gilda doing project, so she brought her miec stuffs, keeekeeee. Yes, success! The waiter or waitress should serve the cake first but they didn't, so in the end, Pris and Gilda brought Amanda to the toilet, while Grace, Jing and I prepared the cake. Yayyyyyyyyyy! Okae, yum yum. Amanda looks damn cute with the hat we gave here! Grace and Pris have stuffs so they left earlier. Then remaining foursome walked to Bugis in the pouring rain. Heeheee. Bugis Street damn pack, but, nevertheless, I got a top and yes, I'm done for CNY shopping. Weeweee~ We went to take neoprint. Seriously ugliest, most awkward, most wasted neoprint ever. Damn hideous la omg. The machine damn weird. Super short time to prepare then one eye big one eye small. Tian ah. But super duper funny, made us broke out laughing like mad throughout the whole process from the very start to editing photos to even cutting and after. Really damn funny, hahahahaha. After that we went to chill at Mos Burger. Just sat and talked. And eventually headed home. Weeeee, and Jin Wei nicely came over to pass me history book. Thanks so much!♥ Yeap, that's all. Damn tired now idky. Two more weeks to CNY. Hellyayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Okae, I should really study, but I damn tired. Urgh. Idk. 30% assessment on Tuesday, urgh. Sian, my hair like shit, urgh.

Page 4 of 366

2012-01-04T23:23:00.001+08:00

Is just page 4 but it felt like forever. I really think cladding in the dress makes me feel good. Or maybe is just because I cause myself to think good hence I feel good. Today was great, i feel great. ACF result was pleasing, 80.5, an A. Presentation was not bad too I guess. But some hiccups here and there but teacher said overall was great presentation and nice powerpoint. The nice powerpoint thing quite heart welming caused I spent the freaking night yesterday on it. Hopes we will get good marks yea! :> RWA got A+ for lecture, woohoooooo! :D After school went to Town with Jing. Yay, I got my flare pants! :) Now I just need a bright colored top to pair with it and there's comes my second cny outfit. And yesterday I got back ITB which was 92, A, but MIEC sucked, 74 which is B+. I really didn't study much for MIEC larh, so ohwell, that day on a bit birthday mood arh, lolz. Tomorrow is the start of Ngee Ann Open House. How time flies eh, one year ago I was visiting Ngee Ann. But now, I will be helping out in the Open House itself. Will be on duty tomorrow :) Really damn excited cause I really wanna promote Ngee Ann and of course, IBZ. They say cannot oversell IBZ cause only taking 45. But really, if there's a will there's a way, I'm a perfect example. LOL. Ngee Ann is the best larh. So excited manz. Somemore already started planning on IBZ Camp for the coming Year Ones. Woohoo. Fyea!

I IS FOR..

I! FOR IBZ! I! FOR IBZ! I! FOR IBZ!

ONE MORE TIME!

I! FOR IBZ! I FOR IBZ! I! FOR IBZ!

ONE LAST TIME!

I! FOR IBZ! I! FOR IBZ! I! FOR IBZ!

SUA! IBZ!!!!

WE. ARE. THE. BEST!!!!

♥♥♥

Page 3 of 366

2012-01-03T23:55:00.000+08:00

It's trending on Twitter. Oh, so there's 366 days this year? :/ Sighs. It's only page 3 and I've been crying on page 2 and 3. Sighs. See Mun, See Mun, See Mun, why you so weak, why you not strong, why you so useless. So damn stress. So damn depress. So damn loss. So damn tired. How am I gna survive? :(

2012-01-03T10:48:00.001+08:00

In school now, alone, not really alone, just in one corner. Thinking. There's really a lot to be done. So many assessments and projects, I don't know where to start. Sighs. What if I'm not going to do well this sem. Just afraid and worried. I really have to get back on track. A new year and I should be even committed to studies. Feeling stress already I guess. Maybe that's why I'm quiet now and thinking. Not only about studies, but life, and everything. I can feel it, just that I don't want to convince myself that this is it. Cheer up, Girl. You need to be even stronger, fearless and just do it with no regrets. Stop thinking about what could have been. Need some inspiration and be optimistic. Comeon, you can do it, don't die.

A whole new year

2012-01-02T23:00:00.002+08:00

The First day of 2012
was spent with the boys, Jin Kai, Jin Wei and Kian Boon. We headed to Marina to catch the fireworks after my work. We reached there like just fifteen minutes before the clock strikes? Laughs. We caught the spectacular fireworks at some huge area of grass. I tink it's really great to start 2012, with those splendid fireworks displayed infront of your eyes :> Then I had McChicken as supper cuz I was fhungry :( Wah, really sucks when you are in town after midnight, most exits and ways are closed or blocked, so you just have to walk walk walk walk till you finally get there :( We tried to buy Breezer at 7-11 but damn, they asked for I/C. Ohwell. It's okae, Jin Kai gonna be legal real soon! Keee. We headed over to Kian Boon's house for a night. Weeeeee. Basically we just slacked. Watch tv for the whole night and I ate finish almost the whole packet of Ruffles. Omg, pig much. I was very tired after work. I kept falling asleep and waking up and unknowingly falling asleep again. So like amidst all the sleeps, I watched peng you, ju-on and teletubbies. Hahahaha. Then at 5plus really can't tank, when Jin Wei left the sofa, I immediately crashed till the morning. Damn guilty towards him cause he sat on the floor and he did not slept. The next morning, we headed to Bugis for Mac Breakfast. Wah, I really unhealthy girl. On the last day of 2011, I had Mac for lunch cause mum got her pay and she treated us. Three consecutive meals of Mac siah lah. Then we went around to help Kian Boon to look for dresses for his girl. Lol, not his girl yet, but aiya, soon to be one lorh. I got myself a dress for cny too :D Actually wanted to look for flare pants, but in the end, didn't brought them. Then we headed home. And I crash once more before I head to work. When I woke up, my eyes like bursting red :( Like what have I been doing the night before. Lolz. I seriously don't know why the hell was I so tired! :( Work was okae. But poor Mei Ling kept vomiting. And my heart really sank :( Poor girl, please get well soon!

The Second day of 2012
was filled with work. Lolz. Wth. Mei Ling took sick leave so I need to work full day. Ohwell. Not bad arh, staff meal was curry ramen with chicken wing, damn yummy! :> But work after break was hell tiring. It was buzy like hell since 5pm. Wts :( I was damn tired. Sighs. And unknowingly I offended two customers. Wts. I'm already tired enough, then like all these shits erupt. Sighs. So I.. Haiyo, Jackson's right, I'm not young anymore, I need to be strong. Come to tink of it, it's really funny. I was really sad but I chose not to tell anyone. And this shall be kept between colleagues and myself and no other. When I'm sad, some people comes into my mind, those which I want to pour my sadness to. But I chose not to. Guess, I just got used to it already. Since last year, I started keeping stuffs to myself. And I can't really blog them either. So is like bottled up. Today really maybe just aren't my day. The worst I've met so far during work, two complaints in a row. What can I say. I need to be more alert.

School's starting tomorrow. I just basically wasted the break. Not studying. Not doing anything related to studies. Shucks. And I'm having a presentation on Wednesday. Shucks. Sighs, is back to study mood. This teaching week is short, just 6 weeks and is exams already. Really need to buck up for higher GPA. CT results back this week. Sighs.

Byebye 2011

2011-12-31T01:12:00.003+08:00

Actually come to think of it, I didn't achieve much in 2011.
Time really flies, and I've been working for almost a year.
I'm numb to work already and I guess this is really the signal for me to quit officially.
Asking me why my face is always black well, cause I'm numb.
I'm just working aimlessly and blindly.
Work had really took up much of my time.
Holidays I'm working, Weekends I'm working.
So many hours spent on achieving bucks that I've spent lesser time with my love ones.
Or, even, spend some quality time doing something I love, alone.
And it's not shopping.
But like what I enjoy, what I love.
Singing, dancing, baking.

So today, marks the last day of 2011.
I've been stronger, as in, I've been facing more stuffs alone now.
At the end of the day, at times, yes, I do feel lonely.
Like I miss having that someone who I can always count on, that someone who I can blabber nonsense to, that someone who never fails to make me smile, that someone who makes me want to spend my whole night texting till I unknowingly fall asleep, that someone who makes me feel love.
A boyfriend is different from girlfriends.
Is just different.
I'm not desperate for one.
But, I'll just wait for the right one who makes me feel like a special girl again :)

2012 is coming.
I don't hope big.
I just want to be happy.
I just want to be a better person.
I just want to spend more time with my love ones.
I just want to treat myself better.

I've really lost hope in losing weight larh, lol, every year same resolution but forever never come true.
Don't know what to wear later on, hope later will mark a great end to 2011 and a great start to 2012 :)
Sighs, feeling like shit. Okae, I'm gonna sleep off my sorrows for the last time in 2011.

New year, new life, new people, new endeavors, new leaf.

"There's more to life than being alive."

黄鸿升 (Alien Huang) | 七十亿分之一

2011-12-29T10:30:00.001+08:00

是什麼, 讓不會改變的全都變了?

My Addiction ♥♥♥

New Year is Coming, so is School Starting

2011-12-28T12:20:00.003+08:00

Hello there people. If you guys did realize, I have a new cut. Well, it was done last Thursday. Is just that I kept it down and low, in attempt to make it a surprise and to only spill it out when its nearer to the end of the year so that this is a New Year hair. You know? Like a brand new year, a brand new image? :)

Heeeheee. I did manage to did undercut. Okae, frankly speaking the hair wasn't what I wanted but still it turn out well, it's more like a pixie now. I actually wanted to keep my old hairstyle and just undercut it and when it grows out then I'll try pixie but guess now it just skipped all the way to pixie cut :) But, the current hair is not somewhere near pixie yet. It has got to be even shorter, and for that I'm gonna do it 1-2 weeks before I head back Malaysia for CNY :D Which is like new hair for CNY? :) Hahahaha! And cause my hair grows super fast :( I didn't wanted to dye them too soon as I'm afraid during CNY, what's left are ugly roots. So, shall do it together when I cut :) Heeehee. So some say is nice, some say no. Well, personally I love it. But still, I get affected with people's comments. So I look kindda boyish now? Laughs. Best reaction ever was that a little girl asked her mum if I'm jie jie or gor gor. I was laughing like mad. Okae, she's a very cute lil girl alright. I forgive her. Well, when you are young, you expect girls to be with long hair and not a short cut.

And, this is snap at work on Monday. One of my very nice colleague. He got transferred but he came back for a while and insisted to snap a few pictures as we won't get to see each other much.

Heeeheee, see that slight undercut. Well, there's more. But I don't want to freak anyone out! D: Hahahaha! Lydia was there with me when I cut and this girl was saying how she totally cannot accept my undercut. She's like you mad sis. Now my bff is a boy. I don't want to talk to you with the undercut side anymore. Hahahaha!

So.. talking about pixie. Below are some cuts I would like to try? Thinking to get a side fringe pixie or a bangs pixie or maybe something short like how Emma is rocking. Not very sure. Feel like dying bright colors like blonde or something but on the sad note, there's a must to bleach. Not sure.

This hair color above is fab! Love it!

And ohhhhhh, major cravings to get a black flare pants these few days. Saw one at market place for $25. Kindda ex? Actually not? Laughs. But I very cheapskate one. Nevermind, I'll find someone like you. LOL. Shall hunt at Bugis and Fareast before deciding where to buy it! :D

Meeting my girls, Shena, Aqilah and XiaoYuan for dinner later, it's like a post birthday meetup? LOL. YanHong's right, people birthday one day, mine like stretch for weeks? Hahahaha! So anyway, below is one of the sweet birthday present from My Dearest Xiao Yuan. We met up on Monday and she accompanied me for lunch during my break :> As I always say, she's the sweetest girl I've ever met. Her card, is always filled with touchy but sincere words which never fails to make me tear. She's right, we are similar, maybe that's why we can clique so much. Am really glad to have a good friend like her :) Seriously, the photo below, is like woah. I really didn't expect it at all. And, it really go down to details! My name, My face is there. And what's more, is showing in cinemas on 13.12.11 :) Okae, sweet max. This photo is now on my wall of photos! :)

Shena is another sweet girl also met me up on Saturday to pass me my birthday present and to add on, Christmas present too! She delivered it to my house! How naice right! :> Heeeheee. Love you girl!

Spent my Christmas noon with Lydia! We went to satisfy our craving of Kenny Rogers! :D

So today is my off day. And I'm suppose to catch up on my studies. As in, complete all those projects. But just couldn't find the drive to do it =x Too occupied with work that I've not touched studies for such a long long time D: Instead, I have such a strong will to blog. Hahahaha! Nonsense. Okae, I must start cause is due this week D:

Just a few more days to the end of 2011. I must stay 2011 have ups and downs. Starting of the year was great with good o's result and entering to my dream course of IBZ. But when school started, was down as I felt it hard to clique. But thank god, for Vietbodia trip, this trip is actually quite a highlight of 2011. I got to take my virgin plane flight and gone to two places at one go and on top of all, clique with these beloved girls which are the best :) They are really great. Meeting them have changed me. They changed how I view things. They thought me to be happy. They made me laugh every single day of school. They made me feel very loved. Because we are a bunch of girls with different personality, it really amaze me how we can clique together. Actually, I guess the main thing in 2011 was Poly? Others were just usuals, with the same all people who never left my life. You know who you are :> But definitely there's regrets. The same old too.

Well, I do look forward to the coming of 2012. Is a new year which I believe will be better. Top of all is because family's finanical problems will be solved. Which means after one year of struggling we are free. Which is a very huge burden off everyone's shoulder :) Other than that, we're all turning 18! Laughs. Was still discussing with Lydia on celebrating it overseas! I think is a great idea and really hoping it will come true! :D But well, kinnda worried for my studies, have a great feeling am not doing well for CTs. And the modules this time round are really difficult. Don't want my GPA to drop any further D:

Actually, the thing I look most forward to, now, is CNY! Heehee. Noooooo, Pay day first! LOL. Can shop for new clothes!Yayyyyyyy! :D I brought a new bag from Gmarket too! Hoping it'll arrive soon. Is the long wanted motor cycle bag in black! :) And I really feel like shopping cause is the end of the year, and the bargains are the best. But I'm dead broke now. Damn. Okae, bye!

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"

Pretty pretty room ♥

2011-12-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you, pictures of me

Remind us all of what we used to be

2011-12-22T01:52:00.000+08:00

So inspired by Tumblr, as always ♥

I'm a leopard in disguise

2011-12-19T01:25:00.002+08:00

Have been filling up my break with wok.

On Saturday, Lily asked me to learn cashier. I cried like fuck. Lol. Very random but yah. I cried because I've been trying so hard for an increase of pay, yet, I get no payback, I'm so disappointed and hopeless that I have already make up my mind that I'm gonna quit after CNY. But now even without me asking, she offered it herself. Like wth have I been going thru in the past? Sighs. Really grateful. She's a whole lot better. Did opening today. Woke up early to have breakfast with family at Central. Ages since I last went out with family for breakfast and ages since I had a breakfast at Central. Good old times. Glad that I manage to did opening even after eleven long months of not doing it. Had a long break from 2-5pm hence headed home to sleep. While otw to work, met Shena on the bus. Damn coincidental! Miss my girls! :D Ended work at 9pm! :>

Well, I know the way I'm chionging work quite tiring. Only having an off day on thurs next week. But, well, I don't mind so long I get money. Lol, like duh, of course I get paid. What I mean is, working before 25th will all be accounted in the pay on first week of Jan. So is like, since I missed how a lot of chances to work due to studying for CTs, I shall now chiong hardcore so that I can get more money during January and have more for CNY shopping! :D Having lots of plans! Weeeee, after I check my schedule for the week tomorrow, I'll know the amount of pay I'll be entitled to :) If at max meaning hardcore fullday, I'll have $480, not bad right, and thanks to Xmas, I'll have double pay on 25th. For CNY, on top of the list, I'm gna get myself a brown contacts. Want to get a new specs too. I'm always changing my specs every CNY, but this year, I'll get them in Np instead of Msia I guess? This one not important lah. Then I'll save up to get a camera too. Really desperately wanting one! And most probably, I'll dedicate 1/3 of the pay for CNY shopping! :D Gonna go back for more than a week. Shiok yea! So happy, can't wait, with dad's bonus, everything gna be alright! I can finally spent without hesitation and holding back like how I'll always remind myself to save some to lend them. Weeeeee, one more month. I'll get a new haircut soon too. Thinking of getting it to start 2012, shall see, or else, just somewhere before CNY :> Shall keep it a secret so that I can wow people! :D Keeekeee.

Hang in there, See Mun! :D

Happy Birthday to Me (Three)

2011-12-17T05:24:00.000+08:00

Today was celebration with secondary school peeps and Bff.
Met Lydia first.
I'm pretty sure it was you, and damn how fast my heart raced.
Thanks Jin Kai for allowing me to change the dress. Lol.
Okae, I super bad, but to me I rather I be frank and say I wanna change rather than not frequently wearing it?
So originally it was dinner at Bugis.
But in the end, I called it off since Jin Wei can't make it and it's just so late.
Meeting at 7pm, so dinner like 8pm?!
Besides, I planned to head home early as my relatives are all jokingly scolding me for not spending time with them when they specially came all the way down from Malaysia to Singapore.
Since, we're at Jp, then just settle there loh, what's with the trouble of travelling.
I'm sorry if I ruined your plans.
But to me, so long, there's a heart to come together for some dinner, then this thought is what it counts.
Well, I really don't need much grand celebration or whatsoever, a simple dinner at Jurong Point is enuff :)
So we had Pepper Lunch. Weeeeee~
Met Ivan, Sophia, Conelia and Vangie.
Omggggggg, Ivan really long time no see!
We were just saying we haven't met for so long then tadah!
Hahahahahaha.
Okay, super loving Bff's gift for me!
I am very wowed.
It's like super duper chio, omfg (Y)
It's a make up palate. It's not the make up thing that wows me, is the beautiful cover.
Omfgggggggg, like so chio!!!
I somehow knew it may be related to make up stuffs, but didn't thought that it will be a make up palate with bronzer, lip gloss and almost everything, and the packaging, omfg, to die for.
How can I even bear to use it? Put at the side for admiration enuff liao manz.
And the card. Okae, super touching arh. I think I can cry everytime I read it.
Cause Bff doesn't really does much for my birthday, and this is the first out of the tenth year of friendship.
Laughs. I'm not trying to suan her okae. But because of that, this makes this year's effort damn touching!♥
The card, hahahahahhaha, was super sweet, I damn touched.
Then when I flipped to the back, thinking it will be her photo or mine photo, but guess what?
It was Xiao Gui!!!!!! :DDDDD
Omgggggggggggggg, why she soooo sweet arhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ♥♥♥
The Xiao Gui part really damn excited, and that part really adds alot to the card.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, is like Xiao Gui saying Happy Birthday to me!~^^ Weeeeeeee~~
So the guys said they went to shit, but they brought cakes.
Hahahahahahahhahaha, omgggggggggggg, thanksssssssssssssssssss!!! :DDDDDD
I'm really surprised cause I really thought you guys went to shit and I really don't see the need of a cake, but wow, you guys caught me off guard definitely.
The cakes are like super duper chio and cute!
Headed to Starbucks to take some photo and to eat the cake.
Weeeeeee, chio leh, the xmas tree at right position! Hahahahahaha!
After that, neoprint with Bff!
Hahahahahaha, ancient since we last neo-printed!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~^^
Thanks YanHong for the bag! :D
Okae, I really damn shock when you told me you brought the bag from Perlini and Me.
Like wtf, you crazyyyyy???!!!!!!
Ohmytian ah, Yan Hong, is just a birthday, omggggggggg, and my birthday present for you as compared to the one you got me, is like worthless canz.
Super guilty to you girl!
Will definitely make up for it once I get my pay.
Next month's pay really cannot. Must return Jing! Got quite a copy of obligations too. And, above all, is CNY, need shopping!!!
Hahahahahaha, after that slacked at mac, then Jin Wei came to join us.
Soon, we bid goodbye to Lydia.
Girl, wanted to gave you a hug, but is okay, your bus damn nice timing.
Here's a hug and kiss from me! *virtual hug and kisses*
P/s: Couldn't understand what you were talking about for the hate part. Hahaha!
Slacked with the others near house area.
Just chatting and chilling with music.
YanHong dear, I know I may not be a good friend, but still thanks for loving me ♥
Hoping that everything will be good for you in 2012, be strong and believe in yourself, you will get through all these emotion roller coasters.
Sophia and Ivan came to join us too!
Short catch up session with Ivan!
Cheer up, dude! Since you've made the choice back then, then just go for it, and believe you have made the right choice. Strive on and fight! You'll make it thru! :D Jiayouz Fighting!
Bro came down to join us too!
We slacked from 9plus to 1plus?! Lolz.
Majiong-ed and Poker-ed with Zong Sheng, Kian Boon and Bro till 3am.
Super tired but really enjoyed my day!
Just like old times!
Hoping we will stay like this, even for years down the road!
Thanks for everything tooooooooo!!! ♥♥♥
Just wanna say among all the joy and laughter, I knew something is missing, and is you. I know I have my faults in ruining your plan. But well, at least, you still, could have came. Meet up soon to make up for it! ♥
Time check: 5:24AM.
Holy, how long since I last slept at this timing.
Bro was damn observant. Well, I could feel too. But I really hope it isn't.
Full shift two days in a row, that's why I'm blogging now as I'm afraid there's not much time.
Just wanna thank everyone who made an effort to wish me birthday and best of all, to actually take time out, to spend some time with me on my 17th! ♥♥♥
No words could describe how happy I am :)
Heart felt, heart felt :)

LOVE EVERYONE FOREVER AND ALWAYS!
XX

Happy Birthday to Me (Two)

2011-12-17T04:35:00.000+08:00

On Thursday, after ACF, was belated birthday celebration with my poly girls ♥

So I didn't balance lah, cb, sianz, gg.com.

Did you realize that we are dressed to theme- Leopard?! :DDDDDDD

Weeeeee, damn cute canz. Super duper got style and aura. Weeeee~

Anyway, I'm wearing the leopard cardi they gave me, and leopard wedges from Zong Sheng! ♥♥♥

Super loving my style for the day, like one rocker chic yo!

Weeeee, so we originally planned for Marche. But the queue was like fucking long.

In the end, we settled for Hand Burger.

The burger was not bad (Y) Pretty different from the usuals.

Girls made a surprise entry with cake ♥

Everything is just heart felt.

Well, didn't the photos above illustrate enuff?

Just felt so showered with love ♥♥♥

Damn sian that train broke down.

Was just like freaking stucked in Orchard.

How pathetic.

Lucky Daddy came to the rescue (Y)

First time riding in his mini Harley.

Okay, freaking cool can! (Y)

Daddy was running at 110km/h, I felt like I was flying~

Weeeeeeeee, I wanna learn motor!!! :D

Reached home on the dot at midnight.

A long but yet enjoyable day indeed! :D

Thanks, Girls!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥

Happy Birthday to Me ♥

2011-12-13T18:27:00.004+08:00

It's 13/12/11.

So, I did said I didn't wanted to blog. But on this special day, how I can not jot down all the memories I have? I don't know why, my birthday somehow gave me lotsa energy boost, the more I studied, the more awake I felt. Crazy right. Only caught an hour of sleep. But I know that energy rush is just temporary.

When I reach school, fucking cui ttm. I know its my birthday and I'm suppose to be happy. But I just can't find any grounds for me to be happy. So my reaction to everything is cold. Cause is like exam over birthday. My face is like poker face. Laughs. I'm like truly happy for all the wishes and the presents, but I just can't bring about any reaction of happiness. That's why I really didn't want any receivable of presents or whatsoever. I rejected Shena. I tried my very very best to reject Jin Wei too, but he stubborn boy lah. Cause I feel like a mean bitch to be so cold towards all the efforts placed by the other party. But I can't bring about anything manz. So anyway, blaw is just so screwed. Weeeee. I don't know what I'm doing.

After exam, really just max already, cannot tank already, damn tired, damn depressed. But I really tried my best to hold my tears as I've disappointed my girls enuff. But when I saw Jin Wei, he's smiling so brightly but I cried. Lol, cb siah lah. So we went to somewhere to finish up my birthday cake. 2 birthday cake. Heeheee. I just wanna say this is the sweetest thing that has happened on my 17th. Despite how I keep rejecting him, how I keep sighing in front of him, how I just damn annoying, he just smile and accompanied me for that hour or so. I knew he purposely reached school that early just to meet me after my exams. And he's like super sweet can. Really damn grateful for everything he done. So he managed to changed my frowns to smiles. Yayyyyyyyyy.

So I decided to fetch my mum from work, hahaha, damn funny, forever losing your mother in supermarket. She's da best. Ask me why da bao xiao bao one, then I say erm, cause today my birthday then she was like Ohhhhh. How can you not know when you gave birth to your first daughter?! Omgggggg. Even daddy sent me a super cute message with :*, hahahahahaha, like so sweet right, which father will sent a kiss to daughter one. Omg, so cute. Keeekee. Gonna have steamboat dinner later. Yay, despite insistence of having no celebrations, dad still insisted on having a small one.

I was damn cui, when I'm walking I can feel my world spinning, and I feel damn weak like can collapse anytime, and that is how seriously sleep deprived i was. Two consecutive days of sleep of less than hour resulting in me being super drained emotionally, physically and mentally.The moment I reached home, I totally crashed and I woke up at 5pm. Keekeeee, I haven't start anything yet but shall start after dinner.

Weeeeee. Just wanna thank everyone for all the sweet efforts put in, via message, fb, twitter, presents. I truly appreciate everything, a lot. Thanks for the understanding too! I love long texts. Keekeee. Weeeee. Especially those by Lydia, Samantha, Xiao Yuan and Kah Shin!!!♥♥♥ Weeeeee. Trying to keep myself positively happy for the remaining hours, though I really couldn't bring myself to any. I'll try.

Comeon, See Mun, exam over birthday, exam over birthday, please ace the two papers left. Your only chance left after two screwed paper. Wee, bye.

2011-12-09T00:26:00.003+08:00

Tumblr just always makes me feel that my wardrobe is filled with ugly shits. And all those pretty skinny models and girls makes me feel damn ugly. Sianz. When can I go to a shop-all-i-want shopping spree? So many craves but I know I must suppress those wants as there are more important stuffs in life rather than looking good. Sighs. It's ok. It's near. Just one and a half more to go. Once cny comes, everything will be better, dad promised, and I really hope it will :) But he's going for surgery :( Another major outflow of money, but its good as there's one month paid leave. Lolz. Kno. At the very least, I hope I'll have a pretty pretty set of cny clothes :) Probably new shoes too! Heeheeeheehee, excited siah lah. Although I would prefer shopping now, from my past experience whereby xmas has the best promotions in the entire year but it's okae, it's okae, it's okae :) Thinking of cutting pixie for cny, or undercut but just feels damn sian as it'll be more difficult to match outfits as those cuts will inevitably lead to cool sleek chic style. Meaning I need to abandon all my girly outfits. And, there's a implied meaning that I need to stock up. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Kcan. Dream on. Besides, I should really start to control, I need to save up 2-3k for ShangHai and XiaMen trip next year. I need to buy a new camera to capture memories of new lands too. And, I need a new luggage of which my mum has gladly offered to sponsor as a gift from her to me out of joining the workforce after sixteen years later. (P/s: My mum stopped working the moment she gave birth to me) Hmmm. I don't know :/ Anw, the second photo is a fashion blogger than I really love. Her style is damn nice. And mainly all are thrifts. Lyka cool. Visit her at http://www.jesslovesfred.com/ :) I really love translucent tops. I love collar bones. I love bare backs. I love outfits that make me look long and tall. I love bitches look lah. Lolz. Damn. Sudden recall of how Jing always say I look like a bitch. I'm really fat, if I can loose my fats around my waist, I'll be going for more body con stuffs which is damn sexy. Hahaha, just saying. But don't know why, I think sexy girls appeal to me a lot. Sian that I got a scar. But like Jing said, got scar is cool. Yea, think it that way. A scar makes people wonder what happen. I'm getting more and more insensitive about the scar already. Now I'll just wear tube tops without using concealer to cover it up, or use some outerwear. But sometimes, I still feel damn inferior, like people will stare and wonder what's with that scar, so ugly still dare to show. Yeap. And, I feel like stocking up my make up too. LOL. Just go and rob lah. Laughs.

Okay, I just feel damn distracted, that's why I'm blogging. Oh man. Sighs. Okae, I allow myself to slack now. But the moment I wake up tomorrow, the real thing begins. Goodnight, shall have a good night rest and get charged up for a week of war with itb, blaw, miec and acf.

GOODNIGHT. WILL NOT UPDATE TILL 15TH DEC. WILL NOT UPDATE. WILL NOT UPDATE. SWEAR AH SWEAR. XX

2011-12-08T18:50:00.000+08:00

Hello there dear pretty pretty shoe. Love this shot. Thanks Destin! So today was quite a great day. I felt inner peace. Honestly saying lah, just feels so much better. Can concentrate yknow. Just think about it, is for your own good, and our own good. Just really don't see the point. Besides, is an eye for an eye. Firstly, blaw lecture was good cause lotsa hints. Heeheeeheee. And it helped me understand a couple of things too! Felt enlightened. Laughs. It ended pretty early, I just slacked for quite a while, doing absolutely nothing much. Then, miec was a non-ct related lecture. In the end, Jing, Gilda, Amanda and I left the lecture hall for lunch and headed to study. Studying at the library was not bad. I did focus :> ITB you freaking freaking sucks. After a bit of studying, went to get Each a cup. My virgin Each a cup lehz. Lolz. Then, it was RWA tutorial, damn fun i swear, great job girls! I showing more and more of my true colors arhs. Lolz. Don't know if it's good or what. Why everyone say I fierce :( Hahahahaha. I know I'm straightforward, many people says so. But, is only when I come to poly then people say I'm fierce. Okay, so I'm home early today, before 6pm! Hell yeah. So, is finally 3 days more to CT. I'm gonna be dead focused for the next one week! Camping in my room and never going out. Yeah yeah. Okay, quite happy today, really can feel inner peace when rwa is done and over with. Just one more burden and off I go to "enjoy" my break. Not really enjoy, but well, at least there's a mini break :)

XX

I'm tired, but I need to keep going.

2011-12-07T21:54:00.004+08:00

I'm very sad and angst these days. Partly due to lack of sleep, stress and projects. Firstly, it was IT budget, got damn stress on the day before presentation. Major headache on Tuesday, just feel damn terrible the whole day. During miec, can't even concentrate, the whole world spinning :( Next, rwa activity is like finally done and over with. I must say I am totally utterly disappointed. Small lil things, but it built up. Firstly, okae, nvm, I've always been the one whose initiating. It's okae, I'm totally fine, just don't screw things up. No matter how tired I am, I always gave my priority to rwa for the past few weeks. I really placed in a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of effort. Then, today in the morning, I was in good mood you know, cause I have a good amount of sleep. Then, Qiyuan never wore green, then like almost everyone didn't brought the things I instructed. I'm like wtf. Why did I even bother bearing the pain of my headache just to type out so many stuffs yesterday just to make sure you guys know what to do and stuffs. Fuck. Then nevermind, I damn sian. I really hate it you know. Then I told myself is okae, you're a perfectionist but others aren't, don't expect so much from others. Fine fine fine. Then, it rain, okay, fine. Then, what really started to piss me off, is when they totally don't know what is going on. Fuck fuck fuck. Just go and die, don't fucking screw my marks. I've reminded over and over again to be sure of your stations, and if you don't know FUCKING USE YOUR MOUTH TO ASK ME. So, simple and you can't do it?! Screw you guys man. Damn pissed you know. So, station one is just like fucking fucking screwed. I'm so sorry guys, for shouting to ask you guys to keep quiet and breaking down. So so so sorry. I don't mean anything. And, I'm not a bitch okay. I'm not angry at you guys, I'm just angry at myself. Is just that I really have high expectations you know, I've put in so much effort then you just come here and screw everything up _|_ Then for Station 2, don't even know what is the order of your stations. Just go and die man srsly. Other than that, all the other stations were okae. Well, I don't know what to expect anymore, the other stations I was just damn damn sian. Haiish. So I was very depress, but I definitely felt better after the cry on the way home. Took a long nap too, lol, you know how you feel tired after you cry? Hahahaha! Only woke up when the bus reaches jp siah lah. Hahahaha. Sianz. Okae, I'll go study now :) Breathe in, breathe out. :( Remember, be strong, just a week more to go! :D

为什么脆弱时候,想你更多?

要慢慢泡才会红

2011-12-02T21:03:00.003+08:00

Totally didn't regret taking my time out to catch the movie. Well, the movie was great, hahaha, i know everyone say it was pretty bad or whatsoever. But, well, for me, a crazy loving fan, the appearance of Xiao Gui just make the movie totally enjoyable and worth while. Every time he appears, I'll just be squealing in delight. He's sooooo freaking cute, omg. The whole movie is like selling his mesmerizing smile. And, it just feels a lot different when you see your idol on big screen rather than the normal tv screen. Is just, wow. The big screen seems to be magnifying his radiating smile. He's just so cute and sweet in the movie. Like really. I want to catch the movie again! I hope after my exams, it'll still be showing, really want to catch it once more! Can't get enuff of his cuteness and that smile. That charisma is something I love the most about him. Okae, enuff of the talking, is 9pm and I shall get studying! I really truly recommend everyone to go to the theaters and catch this movie! :D Not only my cute Xiao Gui is inside, I must say the plot is not bad, it inspires people to chase for their dreams, to never give up. I shall chase mine's too. Why did I wanted to come into IBZ, because I want to travel around the world. And since I've worked so hard via DPA and in the end via my results to finally enter my dream course, I should not give up. I've come so far, there's still 2 and a half more years to go. Your determination, your ferocious will to succeed! Always keep that motto by Jolin Tsai in head- "Nobody is born clever, but if you work towards it, you will succeed."

XX,
See Mun

Let's end the year with a bang.

2011-12-02T01:34:00.002+08:00

Oh, hello, December. I use to love December. Cause is hols. But in poly, is just a big no no no :(
Biggest worries now: RWA Activity & Common Test. Sighs.
Today I tutored for RWA tutorial, felt that I did pretty badly :/ I stuttered a lot. Aiya, don't know lah, fuck. Then the RWA proposal also damn screwed. Stupid estate, wasting our time. I really can't think of any other green act :'( Sighs. Just feeling damn screwed this sem. All modules are like fuck. I'm still having ITB Presentation next Tuesday. Then Wednesday is RWA activity. Really, why can't they just give us a study break or something for us to study? Rather than now, I'm being cramped up with all sorts of stuffs. I just suay lah, activity before CT. Sighs. I need to still ace my projects and at the same time mug for CT. I just feel damn stressed up and tired. And my mood is no good this days. Just don't feel like talking. After today, the accumulated stress, I just don't feel like going for the movie tomorrow. But, I don't want to disappoint Bestie. Well, See Mun, take a short break okae. Sighs. FML lah. Really hating my life now. I just want everything to be over asap. But, still, the two week break will be buzy, there's projects that need to be completed. Is a hectic sem, that's all I can say. Goodbye.

P/s: I feel, one of the reason why I'm sad is because my birthday is clashed with CT. Yah. Kwhatever. Grow up.

Shena's Birthday Celebration ❤

2011-11-25T23:55:00.000+08:00

Gave a surprise appearance together with Xiao Yuan at Pizza Hut :) Keeekees. The cake above is just an epic fail Pooh Bear =x Oh, and I love cheese :) Huhuhu.

Caught Breaking Dawn. Woah. So naice! The sex and kissing scene really abit too much. I mean it gets boring when like half of the movie is about that. The wedding and honeymoon are like damn naice can. Like fairy tale and paradise, aiya, won't happen in real life one loh :/

After the movie, took Neo-print :) Damn funny can. Heeheee. After neo-print, walked backed home with Shena and XiaoYuan. So I really did woke up at 8.15am today to see my XiaoGui. So I'm super damn lethargic now :(

Time really flies eh. Really glad to have these girls :) So once again., we're heading different paths. They are planning on going SP. Oh well, is okay :) Hope our friendship will never die. We don't have to keep in touch often. But, it's good enuff to be meeting up as a whole, on occasions and celebrations like this :)

In a twinkling of an eye, it's nearly the end of November. Just one month more, and is Christmas. Not that Christmas means anything to me. But, just saying. Really feel that this semester, time really past by damn fast. Is like unknowingly amid the laughter, joy and stress, is nearing to Common Test. I'm really very very worried. I just feel damn screwed up and lost for the modules this semester. FML. Haiish. Tomorrow will be my "last" day of work, asked for a three week "leave". Really hope I can cover all four modules amid these two weeks. Goodnight.

2011-11-22T00:57:00.001+08:00

Really have thoughts on getting a tattoo. Hmmm.

Sometimes it last in Love, but sometimes it Hurts instead.

2011-11-20T18:36:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DEAR BOY AND GIRL ♥♥♥

2011-11-20T18:01:00.001+08:00

It had really been a hectic week. With Rwa. Lucky everything are almost done :) But, after this, we'll have to immediately touch on the activity already. Haiish. And, is time to start revising for my Common Test! E-learning is no joke too, hell lots of assignments to be due :(

But, there's more happy reasons, for me to be a buzy little bee. It's my two beloved friend's birthday! Both born on 19th November 1994, damn coincidental can :)

On Friday, we celebrated Jamie's birthday! It was a blast I must say :) Very fun indeed! See how happy we all are in the photos! :D Singing, eating, playing, relaxing and just chilling :) I was pretty crazy that day. Haha, well, that is the true side of me though. Don't be shocked okae! Kees. Happy Birthday, my Dear Jamie!♥ Really love the Dream Catcher I made, hope I could kept it for myself instead. Kees. (P/S: The DSLRs' quality are freaking damn good!)

On Saturday is Jin Wei's birthday! Kees. This boy must be disappointed that the girls didn't went for kbox! Went for a little shopping spree at Scape's flea while waiting for the guys! :D Five good buys for a sum of $24 only! :D Hell yeah! So dinner was at Burger King. Then Kah Shin appeared! Yayyyy! Damn funny can. Hahahaha. So sorry for the cake :/ Didn't knew you don't like cheese. Damn guilty manz! So we chilled for quite a while at there, opening up the presents too! Hope you love them! They are all quite essential, I think :) We also chilled at Coffee Bean at Somerset. Sibei funny arh. Birthday boy so shy sehs. Kees. Happy Birthday, my dear Jin Wei!♥ (Soul Mate, LOLZ) Wanted to gave you a hug. But it's okay. *Huggies*

After the celebration, headed with Kah Shin to meet her friends. It's my first time going to such places. It was pretty enjoyable! Everyone is super duper nice! :D Headed over her house to sleep. Her little cousin came over too. Super cute this girl. Super sticky. Really very nice of you to ask me tag along :) So long since we've done all of these ♥

GREAT TIME SPENT WITH ALL MY LOVE ONES! ♥♥♥
So much laughter whenever I'm with everyone of you :)
Love you guys lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots! ♥♥♥
Glad to meet everyone of you! ♥
Really hope we will all remain like this, even years down the road :)

XX
Jasmine ♥

Polaroids ♥

2011-11-15T22:18:00.001+08:00

Yay, my first ever Polaroid films! ♥♥♥

All thanks to Samantha! ♥ I really love the way we clique together despite not talking often or whatsoever. We just care for one another occasionally. It may be a short chat but we both know we can count on one another when we need to :) So funny, I was looking at her, trying to hint her, and she was actually thinking the same as me. Hahahaha! This is called 心有灵犀 :) Awww.

So damn tired every single day :( I just feel like sleeping when I reach home. As usual, I can't wait for Friday to come, or should I say Thursday to end. What's best, is E-learning next week. I like :>

2011-11-14T02:10:00.001+08:00

Major outflow. Major outflow. Major outflow. Really need to go on starvation for the whole month already. And, really need to save, not gonna spend on any other stuffs rather than for these three important people. I will not put any cash in my wallet when I go schooling. Yes. Period. Sighs. Really just wish my family can get out of this crisis asap. My 11:11, 11/11/11 wish. Lol. Don't dare to tell my parents when they asked me what I wished. Don't want them to xim tong yea. Quite serious words used hor- Crisis. Besides, with Common Test coming, I'll stop work, like in two weeks times. My allowance how for January how. Sighs.. Everyday camp at home can already, simple as that. Just need money to travel can liao, $52 bucks for concession can already. Don't eat. Don't shop. Yes, this is how drastic the situation is. Sighs. Help :( It's okay. Everything is gonna be alright. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. Worry less, worry less, worry less.

I actually am someone who really looks forward to birthday. I love birthdays. Cause I get presents. Hahahaha =x I'm elated cause these presents somewhat fulfill my wishes too. I'm dead broke and I can't fulfill my cravings lah. So to me birthday like good chance loh. #Justsaying. But, also, birthdays are also worth celebrating as it is when you spent time with people you love too :) Especially when people make time out for you and when old friends come together, is just so damn sweet :> Even doing nothing is heart warming with the companion of all my beloved ones :') I really love birthday cause for me, it is when, I'll show my love and appreciation to the other. Very sweet leh don't you feel. Is like on birthdays, you are showered with wishes and blessings, with love :) I just feel birthday is just so damn sweet loh. Like you know you are not alone, you know who is there for you, who loves you. Don't know why some people don't like to celebrate.

But anywayyyyyyyyys, really really really really damn sian. Why my birthday falls during Common Test ah. Actually I very scare to post this, cause I don't want anyone to see my blog and say I desperate, like why you hinting people, I'm not. I'm just a little girl who really looks forward to birthday celebrations. And I don't dare to tell anyone cause I also don't want to sound as if I'm hinting. It's just what I'm feeling currently. That's all. That's what my blog is for I guess, to pen down thoughts and feelings that are kept inside. Please don't get me wrong, really.

Sian, so anyway, what to wear ah. LOL. Kay, I go sleep now. 2:40AM liao, doing nothing conductive at all. Screwed it. 5% Blaw test later. Argh. And stupid RWA :( I don't wanna grow up. I don't wanna know about law, about politics, I just want to live in my tiny little box. Sighs. In a months time, I'm gonna be seventeen le, I know I seemed to be quite mature in my thinking and stuffs, but actually I do have quite a few childish characteristics in me. Not childish, just naive. Like how I'm super afraid of animals although I look like quite strong. Chey! Sometimes I just wish I didn't grow up too fast, because I didn't enjoy what I could have when I was young. People like soft toys, I disliked them. People watch cartoon shows, I don't know what I was doing. But, it's okay, as a sensible child at young age, I'm glad to have lessen the worries and burdens of my parents. So sentimental at night, as always. What if I went back in time, just to change one thing, just one, my life would be a whole lot different.

Eh, seriously, stop, okae, goodnight! :> Wo ai da jia! <3<3<3

Beyoncé - Love On Top

2011-11-13T12:19:00.000+08:00

Nice and simple choreography :>

True Colors

2011-11-13T01:09:00.001+08:00

Sighs. When you are in the working society, you see more true colors and faces of people. Bitch. Talking behind my back. Spreading that I will be reprimanded by Lily. Still act and say if I'm not happy, I can always call her to transfer to Clementi. Now I know why. I knew you have intention. I knew it, you hate me so much, how would you want me to be transferred to Clementi. Still show care and concern some more. Fuck. Please lah, if Lily really treats me like shit, I also won't go Clementi can. I can just find another job since I've always wanted to leave Ajisen anyway. Think what, I die die also need to follow you meh. Pui, bullshit. Well, fyi, I've not been scolded by Lily at all for these past two days. Astonished? You better be. Now that I know the truth, the more I need to work my best so that I give no chance for Lily to scold me, no chance for your bloody scheme to succeed. Lucky all the chefs still treat me well enough to be good to me, to care for me, tell me not to be afraid, telling me to cheer up, to tell me who is that bitch that is spreading nonsense around. Seriously nonsense lah you. I'm just a small tiny employee, a part time some more, I know we bu shuang each other, but seriously lah, like what's the point can =.= Want to scold me, you can just scold me in my face, don't have to make use of other people's mouth. Seriously, seriously =.= Worst character I've ever met. Okay, I shall stop, I don't want karma. But, I just don't get her can. I hate how she makes me feel so vulnerable. She made my think a lot. Dad is right. My life is still a long way down. When I enter the real society, there are still worst people out there that I've yet to see. If I'm not happy then just don't work. Simple as that. True that. I'm still sixteen, I'm still growing, and I really think Ajisen taught me a lot. It's been 10 months unknowingly. This job has taught me how to be fast, taught me how to endure, taught me how to be strong, and allowed me to know many people from different backgrounds, some are good, some are bad. But it's okay, it is just a part of life, a part of learning, a part of growing up. I know I can do it! Jiayouz. Chin up alright. You need to stop people from asking why are you sad.

I don't want to be a copy :/

2011-11-11T10:56:00.001+08:00

It's 11.11.11 and I'm working and stuck at home chionging project. K can.

I'm really very tired nowadays. I don't know why. Sianz. So yea. Some photos to summarize the days. I dyed my hair red, which turns out to be reddish brown and some say purplish. Ah lah, anything lah. Really can't wait for E-learning week to come. I brought bus concession, is good cause I can find a seat and I don't have to squeeze with people but it's so damn time consuming. As in, waste time, wake up early then reach home late. Zzzz. Then if I were to study in the bus, I will be damn tired and dizzy. Three years ah three years. Okay, bye, need to chiong project. Monday there's Blaw class test some more. Ah fuck. There's work too. Sigh. How to balance. Common Tests in a month's time. Sianz. Help.

說不出的痛苦

2011-11-05T15:39:00.000+08:00

Oh hi, I've just chopped my hair off recently. Love it, hate it? Well, almost everybody said it was must better than the previous hair. More refreshing :> I love it too. I'm thinking of undercutting. Kees. Shall dye my hair soon too. Sighs. When school starts, life starts to be hectic. When you return home, you slack and study a bit then you head to bed and the routine continues. I really hate the modules I'm taking this sem. MIEC is the best lah. Maybe I'm a econ person. Love econ :) ACF and ITB, I have totally no idea what is going on. RWA, okay lah, somewhere there, it takes time for someone who knows nothing about the world to actually learn about what is going on right. Laughs. BCOMM is just, aiya. BLAW, is okay, is just that it is very heavy. Sighs. And is just 5 weeks away from Common Test. Is quite sad, to think of it, I'll be spending my 17th in the midst of examination. Oh well. Sighs. There's so many things I want to do, but I just can't. I want to buy so many stuffs but I just can't. November, there's three birthday babies, meaning a huge out flow from my pocket. I need to spend my pay wisely. Taking into account I still owe Jing $90 for the clothes and Zong Sheng for the tics. Haiish. I really hate work. I really hate work. I really hate. Eff up. But I can't quit, because I need to lessen the burdens of the family. Because I need to pay for my own expenses, transport fees, meals.. Haiish. I need to balance studies too. So xin ku. Mum just told me that Dad still owes like 7-8k, that's why she's actively searching for jobs too. Haiish, the more I shouldn't quit right. Then like PH, I want to work, cause double pay then she doesn't even write my schedule in, I don't know if it's of purpose or what. Just eff up lah. Haiish. Tell me what to. So xin ku. Every time I spend, I need to think twice. For studies, I don't know why I'm so slacking this sem, I really need to zheng qi yi dian. The fact that I need to balance between both, I really need to make full use of every single second I have. Sighs. Help. Kbye.

I'm bored therefore I shall blog.

2011-10-30T14:56:00.000+08:00

On Friday went to Museum of Horror II at Scape. Haha, crap, I was scared. I thought I won't but I was. K, can. K lah, not bad lah hor. Freak, now that I look at the photos, they actually do send me chills down the spine again :( What I hate is that they like to go near your face. Quite gross leh. K lah, I very timid T.T Anw, also brought Gong Cha. Woohoo. Thanks to Kah Shin whose friend is working there, Lydia and I got the Xiao Gui cover! \n.n/ Happygirl94! So freaking cuteeeeeeeeee :>

So I felt that I was pretty chio that day. LOL. As in, you know, those days where you feel good about your outfit and look and you want to freaking camwhore a lot? Yah, that kind of day. I did cat eye and red lips and braided the side. All of which I've never done before. Everyone was staring. Zzz. Zong Sheng and Jin Wei even best, bet that I will make up like a ghost. Wah kao, this makeup also considered ghost meh. Sianz. Thanks Lydia who said it was Gothic. So, I spammed my lil. bro Iphone. Keekee. If you think it is just a simple black maxi, think again, it's ripped back, so cool! Support Jing's shop!!! :DDD

I rarely camwhore nowadays so don't think this is overrated alright? :) Heeeheee. Cause I love to camwhore with new chio clothes. K lah. I very bored seriously. Feel like eating but house nothing to eat. Urgh. Lazy to go down to Gek Poh also. I'm gonna cut my hair short, soon, I'll find a day. So bored. Life's getting hectic already yet I still so nonchalant. Sianz. Projects and work loads pilling up. Sianz. K, I need to go study. Lucky no work today, can chillz at home :) Tomorrow's BCOMM OP. Formal wear siohs. Hope I can ace it! :D

I LOVE NEW CLOTHES ♥

2011-10-28T00:26:00.000+08:00

Yay, new clothes! ♥ All from Jing! ♥♥♥

2011-10-23T12:43:00.001+08:00

On Thursday, went to school with Chester, Zong Sheng and Yan Hong :) So funny, Chester joined Zong Sheng and I for MIEC lecture, and what the heck, he's paying attention in a module that he has nothing to do with. While Zong Sheng and I are just partly paying attention. After the lecture, went to buy bread as we're giving them out to the needy. Thanks Chester and Zong Sheng for supporting! :D Is very sad to see the state they are in. Some are worth the empathy, while some are not. There's a little boy, age below 5, which uses middle finger as a greeting, he even turned around, smacked his butt facing us. Sad isn't it. Then, on the other hand, there are people who are smoking and playing majiong. Like wtf. No money, don't gamble, don't smoke can.

On Friday, which is a no school day :D Keekee, really TGIF yea?^^ Met up with Amanda, Gilda, Jamie and Jing :D Headed to Jing house as she's having a mini flea at her house. Is damn shiok I tell you, ransacking for clothes. Keekeeee. Got a couple of buys :) So photos are above. Hahahaha. We look so cute, laughs, especially the white dress for which we named it as bridesmaid dress^^

I really don't feel like working anymore siahs. How?! Sighs, but no work means no money means poorgirl94 :( SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Currently, my plan is to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday half day. Let's hope I can cope :) Alright, got to go, need to study already, stupid BCOMM, historical person, how I know who siahs, SIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. Then there's RWA for which you need to bring news article for discussion. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, #FML.

It sucks to be an IBZ student, at times

2011-10-19T19:13:00.000+08:00

Today, I freaking woke up late. Hahahaha, I was damn worn out yesterday. I slept at 11pm. Then when the alarm rang at 7am, I was like still damn tired, so I just fall back to sleep and woke up at 7.42am. Hahahaha. Actually I didn't even want to to go to lecture can. As I was afraid that it's only a module for IBZ, meaning my absence is obvious, so I went. But still, I took my own sweet time, left house at like 8.20am. And hahahahahaha, omg, I tink I'm a lucky girl today :) God doesn't wants me to be late. Everything came smoothly and I reached on time. The funnier thing was that I told Chester and Terence not to wait for me, but when I was already at NP bus stop, they just reached. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lecture is damn sian can. So, there's only two diplomas that take ACF. So weird. People take Accounting, we take Accounting and Finance. Shit, more chim only lah, kns. Furthermore, the other diploma is just taking this as an IS module, and we are taking it as a core module. Wahhhh, okaycan, life of an IBZ student~

After the lecture, which freaking ended at 10ish, we had lunch, well, I didn't, too early for lunch, my breakfast is still in my stomach. We went to Island Creamery thereafter. I had Chocolate peanut butter, a mix of both my favorites :) Chilled there for quite a while.

Then we headed back to school as there's still RWA. Wah piang, this module which is uniquely for IBZ only,

is fucking hard. I want to cry hearing Linda Ng talk. Is like WHAT THE HECK?! We being our own lecturers and tutors. We planning for activates. Is like so much commitment, so hard, so damn challenging. I just feel that I'm not gonna make it this Sem. All the modules are hell tough. Just kill me mans :( Haiish. Life as a IBZ student~

Anw, we had a planned colored-shorts day. So yeap, here it is, not everyone wore though. Haiish. This week I feel so slack, so relaxed, then today RWA lecture was like a wake up call, bringing me back to reality. Yea, reality sucks, this sem is gonna be much more worst than the previous one, and is time to be serious, and start studying. Hais. Life really sucks man.

2011-10-18T02:37:00.001+08:00

It's late at night and I can't sleep because memories and incidents came flashing back to me. Yes, it's 2:29AM. Yesterday was quite an enjoyable day :D Woke up at 10plus as I pon lecture. Lol, kay, bad girl. Met Shena Girlfriend to pass her Goodluck cookies! \n.n/ Keekee. Hope you love it! Then it suddenly downpour =.= Went to Ourspace to find the girls first before heading to lesson. Aww, Jing so cute, she came and hugged me and said I miss you, so long never see you. She's such a cute girl :) BCOMM was not bad, kay lah, quite funny, laughs, the teacher asked me to pass a message down, it was an activity. So what I heard was Angie but it turned out to be Henry. HAHAHAHAHA. EPIC FAIL SIAHS SEE MUN. What's worst is that I'm the 'sender' of the message. HAHAHAHAHA. Kay, I have major hearing problems, seriously. After school, met up with Kah Shin and Yan Hong :) IMM. Hmm.. Wondering what accessories I should get for Halloween. Slacked at Ajisen. And is really slack. Stayed there for like 2hour plus. Headed home at nearly 9pm. Had an hour long chat with Dad. He's a far-sighted man. So inspired, touched and loved today. Yet so much pain, guilt and flashbacks. That's life eh. Think. Chose. Act.

2011-10-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

So, today marks the last day of the vacation. Yea. Seven weeks flew by in a blinking of an eye. Today, I baked lots of yummilicious cookies :D Because the one I baked on Friday was gone in just one day! Laughs. Like new year siohs. I baked 3 containers of cookies leh \n.n/ I also cleaned my room. Took down the veils that surrounds my bed, wah, now my room damn empty and bright. So, I have not lost a single kilo. Hahahaha. EPIC FAIL SIAHS SEE MUN. I did lost some weight then it gained back again because I really couldn't stop eating :B Keekee. I love food. I love cheese. Sua, just get fat lah, hopeless girl alrdy. And, oh, yesterday was my lil brother's twelve year old birthday. He still so young ah omgggggg. Cute boi boi forever. We went to have Long John Silver's. Omg, why the food so sucky :( Sian. But I love the chips with cheese. Is like so yum can :D Keekee. Major cheese lover here! :D First week of school is like pretty meaningless can. No need to attend tutorials. So tomorrow I'm skipping lecture. And just attending BCOMM from 2-4pm :D Okay, very shiok, a very good way to start school yea? :) I just wear my tie dye shirt and shorts and slippers can alrdy. Hahahahahahaha, can can can.

2011-10-12T01:28:00.004+08:00

Why do I blog? Because blogging is a way for me to mark down what happened daily, to say the words I can't say, to express the feelings that can't be express, to make myself feel better as though blogging flushes all the thoughts, worries or whatever it is called. I'm feeling kind of sad. I don't know why.

But anyway, today, caught Real Steel with Mummy and Brothers. The movie is da boom, so damn awesome :D So I was happy for a while after the movie, probably due to the excitement and trill I get from watching the movie. But soon, it just faded away. Maybe is due to the fact that I'm working. Or maybe is due to the topic of money. Okay, I think both.

Well, work, I really see no purpose and meaning of me working anymore. I just dread so much to work. I don't know why. And, I ain't happy, my face is so black through out. Sighs. Life.

Money. So when I thought I had some money, another minute, I'm a poor girl again. I just lent my dad $550, like all the money I'm left with. Sometimes I really hate the situation I'm in now. It had been a year. So, to say, I've been being thrifty, saving all I could, for a year or so, already. I actually really don't mind lending them money. One for all, all for one right. As a family, we should support one another. But, sometimes, I just feel so sad, I have so many wants, craves, desires but yet I just can't get them. Why did I brought so much stuffs at a go? Because that desire is stuck there for so long. That day, I was still thinking of going back to get that Knit Cardigan from New Look and to get more tops and shorts.. Then, when I woke up, I saw a text from Dad saying to lend him the maximum sum I could. Then, just like that, crushed. I really don't mind actually. I mean I understand their situation. Besides, why I work so hard is also to lessen their burden and to earn that extra cash for myself. But, haiish, here it goes again. Mum also said that Dad mentioned that we have to save and spend money carefully till the end of the year. Well, I think is possible, we've walked through a year already anyway. But, meaning, two and more months of saving and bearing and understanding. Just feel so bo bian at times. And, today, I just started my plan of walking back home to save on bus fares. Oh well, it's been a year, and it's just a few months more, I believe I can and we can walk through it together :') It's okay, this feeling is like a cycle already. Think of it the good way, you can save more money and still help the family, not bad right? :) Haha. I even told my bro to work during his hols. And told him not to complain or show sadness when they are selling the two iPhone 4. I mean well, that's the least we can do right, be good children, be understanding, do what we could to lessen their burdens. That day, bro and I notice that Mr Bean is hiring so I said to mention it to Mum, but he didn't want to. He said: "Ni she de mummy qu zuo gong meh?" Well, I don't. But what can I do. At this current situation, even mum is looking for a job already, shouldn't we be more helpful, help her find a job so that she can also lessen the burdens of his husband, the sole breadwinner of the family? :') Hais. Is sad, isn't it? So, that's the reason behind me not eating, saving, being like cheapskate or whatever you guys wanna call it okay. So, yeap, I still must work whenever I could. I really hope Friday there's no school, so that I can earn more :) And, mind and heart, please stop those desires okay, cause it'll just make me kindda sad. Heh. It's ok, it's ok, it's ok See Mun. It's all gonna be worth it :D Family, is all that matters after all.

2011-10-11T00:28:00.001+08:00

Went out with Jia Man today! :D I swear he is a damn funny guy. I always laugh so much when I'm with him :) We went to to Bishan for Shark Night. Hahahahahaha. Cause we wanted to like explore, go to places we've never been to before. So funny can. Heehee. Anyway, is my virgin trip to the new circle line! LOL. First time hearing someone actually prefers me with makeup. Hmm. Okay, thank you :) So funny, do we not look like sixteen and above? The person actually looked at us and asked for our student card. HAHAHAHA. Omg, finally I'm looking like my age :> Yay! Cause today my outfit makes me look so much younger. I felt kinda gross looking at myself cladding liddat, like so act cute, haha. But still, I should dress like this more! Cause I look younger! :D Shall get more peter pan collar tops! :) Keekee. So, the movie was okay. I keep kenna frightened lah, can. After the movie, we headed back to Jp for New York New York. Woohoo. This restaurant is high up my craving list!^^ So it was okay :/ Hmm. Ohwell, but I love Jia Man's pizza, it's quite nice, with the sour cream cheese. I LOVE CHEESE FOREVAAAAAA :DD So we kindda talked there. So sorry for getting all emotional there. Then, I went to GV to buy tickets for Real Steel tomorrow with my Mum and Brothers :) Jia Man then went to John Little. OMFG, THE LUGGAGES ARE IN PINK AND ARE FREAKING CHIO AND ARE FREAKING CHEAP, BELOW $100 SIAHS CAUSE NOW SALE. OMGGGGG, SOMEONE BUY FOR ME CAN?! HAHAHAHAHA. JUST SAYING. Then, we went to Ice Bar. So cool, today Ladies Night so got 15% discount. Haha. Then, we walked home. We are so ridiculous otw home. I keep saying we not close and I scare awkward. Haha. Sorry lah, I'm always very uncomfortable with people. But okay lah, totally not awkward and we are closer okay! Laughs, thanks so much for everything today! :D I'm really happy and I hope you are happy too! Let's all be happy alright! :DDD

Great weekend spent with my love ones! ♥♥♥

2011-10-10T00:30:00.002+08:00

Firstly, to start of, my Saturday was spent with my beloved family! ♥ It's indeed so long since we last had time together :) So, me and my brother prepared all the food above which was our dinner. Like a feast or party right?! Laughs. I did baked macaroni. First try and it was not bad I guess, for a beginner. Just need to work on the taste, it's not balanced and too milky. SO DAMN FULL CAN, THE DINNER. So full till I wanna puke. Just feel so awesome to be sitting by the dinning table as a family, having a dinner, talking, joking, laughing :) Simple happiness just like this ♥

Then, my Sunday was spent with my beloved girl! ♥ We had Ya Kun breakfast! :)))) Wah, so shocking to see him. Why did my heart skipped a beat, pumped faster and actually felt hot all a sudden. Why every time when I tink I'm okay already, it comes back. Shit, no. Then, we headed down to China Town. I felt like a tourist. Laughs. I look like Taiwanese not? :) Laughs. We went for Oakham and it wasn't open. So we walked to some park. Lol. It seemed to be like a park lah, I have no idea where we are. Just sit, chill, chat and wait for Oakham to open. Sadly, Oakham has nothing much, like all those chio ones I saw on twitter and fb are no longer there. Hmm, oh well. We headed to Bugis then. WOOHOOOOO. Okay, is the third time I'm there. And still, I'm still leaving there as a Happy girl with some loots :D Keekee. I bet Bestie is even happier! :) She's freaking happy lah. Getting all that she wanted after so long! Heeeheee, weeeeeeeee, so happyyy!~ Had Mac for dinner. Laughs. Monopolyyyy! Went to Iluma. Lol. I feel like buying the knit cardigan at New Look leh! Brought a bag from Cotton On and my long wanted leopard laptop bag from BHG! :DDDDD So, just like this, 5 days after I've received my pay, I already spend 1/3 of it. Okay, really can ah. Anw, damn excited for the Halloween thingy with clique! Thanks Lydia for suggesting me to ask them instead. Is all about making that step right? :) Glad that I made the step! :D Such a great weekend spent. So fulfilling! :D

Life's great! ♥♥♥

I don't mind my life just to be revolving around all this same old people. I love my social circle just like this. I'm happy just like this. I love them, they love me, so much love to share among that I don't even need more love. :)

Just because you can buy it, does not mean you need it.

2011-10-07T14:46:00.000+08:00

So true. So relevant. Kindda regret some of the clothes I brought yesterday. LOL. Seriously best. But in all it's still ok. Just that some didn't turn out that nice when I clad them on although i swear it was very pretty when displayed. Now that I have clothes. I think I need bags and shoes. HAHAHAHA, OK CAN. I feel like getting boots. I don't know. I need sandals too, more comfy for schooling :) I need bag. The pink motorcycle bag I saw yesterday is so freaking chio. If I continue spending like this, I'll be broke very soon :/ Which is a big no no no. Sighs. Tell me about it. I feel like getting more knits leh. So chio, loving my new knit.

A visit down to Bugis Street

2011-10-07T00:42:00.002+08:00

While I'm on the bus to Jurong Point, saw Frank Chester at Gek Poh bus stop with his mom. So, I phoned him, and he so cute can, hahahaha, his expression the best seriously. Laughs. So, yeap, headed Bugis with my Mummy :) Hohohoho. I freaking spent $119 on 3 bottoms, 5 dresses, 3 tops and 2 tubes. Ohmy, so many black, I love black. Anw, really great time spent there! So many to-buys leh seriously. I still got quite a couple of didn't-gets. Cause I only brought $110 cash :/ Mum still lent me $10. Aiya, Bugis Street no ATM Machine, no like, plus, I was rushing off for work, so just forget about it. Oh well, I have quite a loot already, need to be satisfied need to control ah control. Had so many interesting encounters too! At one shop, it was suppose to be total of $32 so I asked the person if can $30 then the person quiet then I lifted $30 out of my waller and hesitated on the $2, then my mum just grab the $30 and gave it to the person. HAHAHAHAHA. OMG, SO FUNNY CAN. Then, there's another shop, the knit original price is $19, I asked for it to be $15, then the last deal is $16. Okay lah, can can. Lastly, so funny this one, the total price is $20, I gave her $50, and she freaking returned me $40. HAHAHAHA, I FREAKING GRAB THE MONEY AND THE BOTH OF US RUSHED OUT OF THE SHOP. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. THANKS AH THANKS. So, in all, I saved $15 :D Omg, I lyka aunty already ah, laughs. Heeeheeeeeeee. Super duper happy with my loots! :DDDDDD Clothes is never nuff. Shopping is never nuff. I still freaking wanna shop can =x Keekeee. Nevermind, Saturday, Oakham oakham! :DDDD

It's Pay Day, Pay Day~

2011-10-06T01:40:00.001+08:00

Yes Yes Yes Yes, finally, the long awaited PAY DAY! :DDDDDD Imma kindda siao today. Too happy liao, so, please forgive me. Laughs. So, I went to Gek Poh ATM to check the balance first before confirming to meet Bestie not. Then when I see the freaking $920.50, I started laughing in front of the ATM Machine. LOLOLOLOLOL. It was the expected amount but why I still so high. Laughs. My mummy was beside me anw. Hahaha. Then I say, OMG, 900dollars siohs, then she asked me to quieten down. Keekee. Btw, my mum is looking for a job, she finally acted. Lol. So I accompanied her, to help her fill up the interview form at Swee Heng.Now, she'll be waiting for the phone call for confirmation of the job. Anw, great try Mummy, is like seventeen year since she last was a part of the labor force. The moment she gave birth to me, she had always been a house wife :) Is good she gets a job rite, although the pay is damn sucky, $4.50/hr. But at least she can earn some bucks, for herself or even, for the family :) Met Mrs Chew on the bus to JP. OMG I said. Hahahaha. Had a great chat! She has retired but she's back at Pioneer to help mentor and guide the current batch :) She freaking enjoying her life now can, this week Msia, End of Oct- China, Dec-Taiwan. WTH. If only I can travel around like her! So, met Bestie :) We got the tops we wanted at Net. Got one for brother too. Since $10 per piece at a minimum of 3 pieces. The song that Xiao Yuan intro-ed me, was playing in the shop and I told the story behind the song to Lydia and she broke out laughing. HAHAHAHAHA. Super Junior saying Good Bye to me, how very the honored hor. Then we parted. Miss you girl, can't wait for Saturday! :D Headed to Ajisen. Hahaha. Jojo damn best can. He saw me carrying the Net carrier. He was the one who told me about the sales at Net! Then, he told me immediately that Valarie has sale. Omfg, freaking rush down. HAHAHAHAHAHA. He damn best can. I don't even notice any sales at all lah despite passing by it =.= Got myself a fringe top. Yay! :DDDDD HOHOHOHOHOHOHO, HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY GIRL TODAY! :DDDDDD Shall go to Bugis tomorrow to get the stuffs I wanted :) Need to go quick, or else Friday and Weekends it'll be so packed that it will totally ruin my mood for shopping. Heeheeeheeeheeee. Anw, I tink I'm too high over getting pay. I need to let my mind stop thinking about all the possible stuffs I can buy. NEED TO CONTROL, MUST SAVE FOR PRECAUTIONARY DEMAND, FOR SCHOOLING HOR, FOR MEALS HOR, CONTROL AH CONTROL.

Yes, I'm 21 ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

2011-10-04T01:20:00.001+08:00

Hello there. I had an awesome day with my girl, as usual :) We realized we are talking non-substance stuffs for the past ten years. Hahahaha.We just talk and talk and talk and really talk. We catch Abduction. The girl so hot can. So is Taylor. So freaking admiring her throughout the movie =x Really admire those girls that looks gorgeous without make up and just by dressing simple. Had dinner at Xing Wang HK. Had a long chat there. Headed back to Jp. So, a dude representing the cancer society approached us. He has this very weird opening line, "you girls are tall, how old are you." Then I was like, hahahahaha, omg, totally no link. Then we said 17. And he freaking didn't believe us. So we left then when we walked pass him again he asked if we are really 17. Lol. Then we just got this freaking damn urge to just take our IC out to prove it to him. The he said we are underage, not really under age, but needs to be 21. My godness, so we are freaking 21 to him?! Hahahaha. Omg, he damn cute and funny can. He has a very comical look, like those nerds, haha, no off. He somehow went out of topic, so he asked where we're studying and complimented us saying nice dress and nice vest. Hahahaha, omg, damn funny, can laugh like forever. So, anw, congrats on the new shoe :) Diva having a sale at freaking $3 buck. Brought a ear ring, awwww, so chio, happy happy! :D Strange, but Jp has a lot of to-buys. Went to NET thanks to Jojo who told me there's sale. And why on earth am I freaking broke nao?! :( Shit shit shit. Can pay day like come asap?! Like maybe tomorrow. Although it'll be the day after. Wah, the sale better wait for me okay! I really want that tank and tee! Did something sweet to Bestie, haha, I tink it was cute :3 Anw, gonna have some bonding time with Mummy and Lil. Bro tomorrow in celebration for the end of PSLE. Damn, quick quick quick, flash forward to 5th which is pay day and 8th which Bestie and I shall have brunch and a visit to Oakham! :DDD Really can't stop that strong urge to shop already. In need of clothes, in need to get some adrenaline rush from some real great thrifty shopping! I VERY SIAN OF MY CLOTHES ALRDY LAH, URGH!

Never Give Up

2011-10-02T02:55:00.003+08:00

After work, chatted with colleague. Life. Heh. I have lost all my heart and motivation to work in Ajisen. I just dread to work so so so much. I'm ok with everyone. Is just her. With her around, work just seems so meaningless, I'm so meticulous as I don't want her to have any thing that she can point on. Is very tiring. Is like leaving in fear, not really fear, just worried, every single second. I know she dislikes me. I know. Since the first day she came, she said I'm slow. Then all the while she had this perception that I'm slow, looking down on me, doubting my capabilities and abilities. She has got nothing that is worth my respect seriously. I just dislike her so so so much. I really want to quit my job. I mean like why I need to bear all of these rubbish when I have a choice to leave for much better jobs out there right? But, every time, I think of how far I've come. Nine months already. The relationships I've built. (I really love my colleagues) And, if I quit now, giving up so easily, is it worth it? Is just a part time job now, but, when in the future, will I give up that easily too? I should train myself to face all of these bullshits right? Who am I? Cheang See Mun right, where's the never say never spirit? Had a chat with Dad too. Actually, my family had been going a pretty hard time ever since we brought the new house, because we are basically left with little little little money. So we were pretty poor. One year already, yet, when I asked Dad, he said we are still money tight. Actually is good that my dad actually shares his difficulties with us, so that we can all be more understanding. That's why I want to work also, because I want to lessen the burden of my Dad. He's the sole breadwinner of the family, and is really really very hard for him to support all five of us. By working, I can spare him from my expenses, and I could lend money to them when in need. Is a win win. Sometimes, I dislike the situation I'm in because I need to be so careful while spending, planning before I spend. I became so thrifty. But oh well, I need to be understanding. I'm a "money face" to you guys, but, if you really understand why I behave so, you wouldn't use that name on me again. Let's just say, I understand the importance of money, how money is essential. After the chatting with colleagues and dad today, I know what I should be doing. I should continue my work, my colleagues can, so can I. Furthermore, I should carefully spend my coming pay. In estimation, there should be 800 plus. I shall at least save 500? :) So that this 500 can be for precautionary demands. Haha. Okay, keep this in mind, I can, I will, I must. Alright, is 3AM, I shall sleep now. Lucky half day tomorrow, shall catch FWB :)

2011-10-01T01:23:00.001+08:00

Hello. I'm just waiting for my hair to dry. And, having a great urge to blog. I don't know why, but it's the third time I'm dreaming of him. Is it because I miss him, Lydia said. And this caught me thinking.. I dream of him thrice. Yet, I didn't dream of him at all. Hmm.. So, it's October. Actually today mean something to me. And, it will mean something to you too. I miss all those memories we once had. I know, I was the one who caused an end to everything. At times, I regret for taking your hand that night. Because if I didn't, we will not be what we are now. But yet, I didn't regret what we had after that night. It was definitely something sweet, something real, something true. And I ain't lying. It's just my fault that I have to put an end to everything. I'm really so sorry that I couldn't get my feelings right. Time over time, I wish for us to be back to us. But I don't know how because of that awkwardness that lingers. When I see you, I just don't have the guts to face you again, because I've hurt you so much. I can actually read everything you've written. And, it had been almost a year. My dear, please move on. It really pains me. I'm not that good, really, like I've always said, even a year or years back. I'm sorry for being harsh and mean. Simply because I really want you to move on. You're really a great guy, and, you, deserve better.

2011-09-29T10:13:00.001+08:00

On Sunday, met up with Lydia :) We went to Forever 21 at Orchard Exchange in an attempt to use the voucher. Well, she got quite a loot. I got nothing. Oh well, I have to understand my current situation, shall not spend on unnecessary items yea :) Had ice cream too. Weeweee. Went to Taka for Kinokuniya too. Why on earth is there even such a huge bookstore =.= Headed to Far East. The whole day we just eat eat eat. Haha. Muah Chee, Tapioca cake, Bo Lo Bao. Keekeee. I LOVE HK FOOD! I WANNA EAT HK STYLE DIM SUM! We met pretty early as I wanted to have dinner with my family before I head for camp. Dinner was yummilicious. Black pepper crab, da best can. I can really eat. Just that I'm weight conscious. If I don't control, I can really eat, I don't mind having buffet every day, HAHAHAHAHAHA.

So, yes, TCP Camp, 3D2N. So there are some boring parts, but overall, I think it was a very good camp :D Empowering, inspiring, enriching, touching, real, simply awesome. I feel so positive and inspired after the camp. I really want to make a change in my life. I said I will be stronger, believing in myself and optimistic. I will really have to work on this. I can't let my negative thoughts bring me down anymore. I need to stop victimize myself because I'm the prisoner of my own thoughts. I also want to show my family how much I love them. I have been sticking to my mum so much after the camp that she commented why after the camp, I'm like a baby. Keekee. So I'm a High D and a pretty High C too. I gotta be more sensitive and stop being such a strict critic on myself. I need to appreciate and value life as I'm soooooo fortunate. I need to give a helping hand to all those who is in need. Arh, sooooo very inspired. I'll start from myself first. I will also honor what I say and do. Stop being late, Stop being rude, Give my best in everything I do. Yeap. And the ang mo above is called Hossana and she's my mentor. We didn't talk much but she's a very cute girl. Love her smile! :D

I can't wait for pay day. I want to go out with family and friends, have some time with all my beloved before hols end. Having a outing with mummy and lil bro after his PSLE. So, yah, my cute lil bro is currently having PSLE. Time really flies eh. He's twelve alrdy. Well, not really, his birthday is 15th October. All the best! I know you can do it :D

DIY Dream Catcher ♥

2011-09-23T02:10:00.001+08:00

Half way done. Still need some feathers. Shall finish it up on Saturday :)

Looks so lovely! ♥♥♥

I love to self make stuffs, got great sense of fulfillment and achievement :3

Hohoho, what's up next?

I want to bake and cook! :3

Henna ♥

2011-09-21T01:39:00.000+08:00

So it was a rainy day. Meaning my emo day. Hmm. Lucky this girl brought some light into my life. LOL. I love her faith, so chio, woohoo, I've got skill. Keekeee. Yayyyyy. Yes, be strong, See Mun. A great reminder for someone like me who is always so weak. What actually really makes me happy is the voucher. LOL. Terence passed Lydia F21 voucher, and Lydia said to share with me. Yayyyyy. So happy. I cannot stop smiling for damn long. Hahahahahahah. SIAO. Think about all the stuffs I can buy. Keekeee. Sundayyyyyyy! ♥♥♥ Heeheeee. Wah siao, now at 1:35AM, i still so high for whut?! LOL. Keekee. Thinking about shopping can keep my spirits up till Sunday, like something to look forward in life, LOL, my hands and heart very itchy alrdy=x Woohoooooo. Later working full day, what's best is that the bitch off. Yayyyyyy! As quoted from my colleague, wo men de tian xia. Hohoho. Happy working to me later! \^^/

Just me and her, spending some time together ♥

2011-09-20T13:54:00.002+08:00

So it was a pretty impromptu meet up. Headed to Plaza Singapura to watch Johnny English. Went to Diaso. Wahlao, my plain tote bag gone liaos siahs :( Brought a leopard shoe lace and a watch. Lol. I think the watch confirm very soon cmi one. The movie was not bad. So funny! After movie, we went to have dinner at some japanese style store. Curry Rice. Okay la, normal normal, but the chicken such a major turn off. Headed to Forever 21. Ohmygaud ah, why so many nice clothes one :( Please wait for me for two weeks more okay, dear clothes. Don't go oos. Wait for me to bring you guys back home. Went to H&M too. Actually nothing much loh, don't see why so many people can get so many buys there. The only thing that caught my eyes is the knit top. Hmm, worth considering. Then after that went to Cold Stone for some ice cream. Cheese ice cream, first try, not bad. Had a pretty long chat there, just sit and talk about everything. She's coming over later, to do heena :) So many plans, really hope we can do much of it before her school starts :) Sian, pay day, two weeks more, quick quick quick. This two weeks pass fast please. And let October pass by slowly please.

2011-09-19T01:38:00.001+08:00

So today during work I was crazily mad. Thinking back, I don't know what the heck is wrong me. Siao. So I told her that I've told Edmund to help me increase my pay, and he had approached Ah Song. Then she says she knew nothing about it. Okay can. Suan. Then I told her the company also owes me pay. Then she says she also knew nothing about it. Then she added saying you help me find more people to come work lah, I help you increase your pay. WTF. At this sentence, I was mad hot. Both things are different things, why she put it together? And I've work for eight months in this stupid company already, so i was stupid for not requesting for an increase of pay, then when i requested, everyone act like they don't know? Angry you know. Like work so hard for what, on call anytime, put my heart then in the end, won't get increase of pay, then still need to hear such rubbish saying if I find more people come work, I help you increase your pay. THE FUCK. So mad angry you know. Thinking back I am wowed by the me in the afternoon. I was really angry, angry to the extent on being on the verge of tears. Like siao ah. I don't know why. So I did cry. Hmm. Okay. Stupid now that I think of it. Not the normal tears flowing but really those hardcore crying. I was okay you know till the kitchen guys ask me what happen. You know, the moment people ask you then your tears just start to flow uncontrollably. Hmmm. Tell me what to do now. Is either I quit the moment I get my pay, or I quit the moment renovation starts. But, really, I do enjoy my work. I really can't bear to leave my colleagues. Ohwell, SeeMun can you do it for a month or so? Now that I've chilled down, I'm willing to continue on. Because I know they need me. My colleagues. People are leaving slowly, one by one, I don't want to be the next, I'll stay as long as I can. Chatted after work once again, I love our bond, everyone is tired even though she's only been here for a week, but ohwell, the support goes on, and I should accept it, move on and go on. :) Jiayou fighting fighting!

2011-09-17T13:30:00.000+08:00

Thanks to the enlightenment by Budda Frank Chester yesterday, I started to be thinking about Life. I'm feeling nothing about my results. My life is like so meaningless this hols.Wake up, com, work, sleep. Weird. The first time I'm not feeling anything over academic stuffs. Is like I don't know if it's good or it's bad. I just accepted it and yah, okay loh. Hmm. He's right, why am I working my ass off uh, I should be doing things that is more worth it, like learning new stuffs, preparing for future, gaining more general knowledge and so on. (I should really start following the news and my godness sake, need to start exercising please) And the fact that My Dearest Lydia is starting school at 5th October, the more I want to have more quality time with her. On why I'm working my ass of because I'm very short of money. As a result, I don't have money to go out and I don't have the time to relax and just chill due to the tight work schedule. So, all the while I was thinking of chionging this month and slow down next month when I get my pay and are able to do what I really wanna do. Like shopping, picnic, travelling around Singapore to find yummilicious food, spending more quality time with all my beloved friends. But the prob is Lydia is starting school on 5th, and my pay comes in on the 3rd or 4th. Sighs. I was thinking of so many wonderful things we can do together yknow.. Is kind of sad to know she's starting school that early :( But I don't want to borrow money from my parents cause I know they are tight of cash too. Hmm, omg, how, I don't want to waste the hols away doing nothing with this dear girl of mine :( There's just so much I wanna do. I'm getting bored of my hair already, hahahaha, ikr, it's like just 3 weeks, and I'm bored of it already. I get bored of things very quickly. Like clothes, same thing. Hmmm. I feel like doing my hair like the above. So chio, but my hair is just too short :( And my hair is so spoilt that I'm tempted to chop it off again. Then, I'll never have a long hair as I'll always be so tempted to chop it off whenever it's spoilt. Hmmm. And I hate it that whenever you are broke as hell, there's just so many things around that is so tempting. And ohyah, you know what, that bitch really sucks, she told the others that she did not look for them, when the clear fact is that she was the one who call me to call them. Fuck siahs. I was already angry that she 死要脸 then now she doesn't even want to admit that she instructed me to get help. Fuck. Knn. What's her problem man seriously. So after work met up with Qi Ping with the rest. It's really great that she is so optimistic, she looks forward to going home, and how she can enjoy her life with the compensation that is given by the company. I'll really miss her. Take care okay!♥ Despite how much I really wanted to quit, when I tink of my colleagues, i just damn 舍不得 :( It's like they are all just so awesome. People just come and go when you enter the working society. But I hate this fact. Is like you all are so bonded already and it's really sad to part away from them. Maybe I'm still young bah.. Tears was in my eyes when I bid goodbye with Qi Ping :( Haiish.

2011-09-16T13:06:00.001+08:00

Wah, she freaking 死要脸 lah. Need help also don't ask herself, need to me to go around calling and asking people. The fuck? I'm not your slave. Tsk. If you're really that good, then don't ask for help lah. Hmm. Sometimes really wondering what the hell she's thinking. Then ask us not to chat when you are famous for slacking your way through work by chatting. Hmm, contradiction much? Suddenly overflow of new part timers and workers, I thought I would be replaced soon. Ohwell, nevermind, I'm prepared to quit anytime. But suddenly, she asked if I can work full day next week. Hmm. I really wonder. So anyway, results was much much better than expected. Overwhelmed I can say. And, time flies, 3 weeks of holidays are gone and I think I'll still be as fat as before even after the holidays end. Hmm. I just can't wait for pay day. I need to go on a shopping spree. Oakham, H&M, Forever, FarEast, Bugis. I gonna stock up. I admire how people looks fab with just a simple outfit. And, now, I don't know how I should be feeling. I told you nicely to stop, and so you wanted to continue, so I'm pissed. I'm wrong to be angry? You always joke, but hello there, it's offending, and it's not nice at all. It's just so damn irritating and disturbing. Yes you can joke but people has it's limits. So now when I'm angry, you blame me for being angry when you are one who caused it. Say I'm childish then who was the one who was in the first place. Hmm. Contradicting much. Alright. Idc.

Happy Seventeenth, Kah Shin! ♥♥♥

2011-09-15T13:55:00.002+08:00

So yesterday had Red Camp interview. Hmm. Scared the fuck out of me when I entered the holding room. Eh, this girl damn familiar. Like 5-6 people was like yah yah yah. Haha, yes yes, BAmazing :) I look damn different once again. Hmm. So the interview was okay. I think I didn't perform well as I couldn't express my ideas and thoughts out. It was in a group of five. Nice people I've met :) YanHong was in the same group as me. HAHAHAAHA. We don't seem as though we know each other eh, laughs. So the interview ended pretty early, like 12am, and lasted about 15 minutes. At the bus stop, saw my IBE teacher. Woah. Unexpectedly. She said I look different w/o my specs. Okay, thanks. Haha. Omg. Seeing her makes me feel kindda depressed with the results that's gonna come out tomorrow.. :( So YanHong and I went to buy the cake and waited for the guys to reach. Waited for KahShin at Seoul Garden. So the surprise was kind of ruined but hmm, never mind. I must get used to things never getting into plan. Virgin meal at Seoul Garden. Ikr. Quite nice, loved it, understand the craves of people now. So fun to just be spammed with food. I love buffet. Lol. Eat all I can :D Me and JinWei like a ridiculous pair lah, cause only the both of us occupied one table while the other four occupied the other one. Then I cook what I just put on his plate. Then we just like quarrel on who to eat the food up. Char Siew chicken sucks lo, like fake meat. Hahahahaha, the fish ball doubled or even tripled in size when cooked. Lol. Yay, Ice Cream was yum yum yum. After Seoul Garden went to Mac to open presents. Yay. So I don't know if she'll like it not, hmm, oh well. I hope she's very happy with all the gifts! :D After that trained back to BoonLay. Brought tickets for Crazy, Stupid, Love at 7pm. Girls went for manicure while guys went for pool at Safra. So sad I can't do. Had a great chat there. I can stay there forever. Or should I say, I wish time can stop there forever cause it was the exact moment that I've longed for and thought would never happened. And how much it contradicts my card. Hmm. Sorreh. I hesitated a long time on doing a new card. But oh well, I don't know where I'm going with my words actually. Movie was great, what can I say, it's the second time, although knowing what's gonna happen, still, it's funny. After movie was Safra pool. More of like taking pictures. Hahaha, can. Then slacked at Mac till 12midnight, wished the girl Happy Birthday and headed home. Wanted to gave you a hug but oh well, here's the hug then ">:D<" I don't know why but I'm very happy. Because we talked, we shared time and we took photos. Little things but I was enjoying every single moment of it :) Oh yeah. And and and, I can't wait for pay day. Sad to hear that Rp's vacation ends during the 1st week of Oct. Ohmy, I had so much plans for Oct with Bestie. Hmm, sad sad sad.

2011-09-14T00:53:00.001+08:00

Tsk. I really hate. She's fucking lazy. While I'm working, she's behind talking. Act like a pro only. Kns. Fucking love to talk then don't do work. Drop those acts please, everyone sees your true colors already. Eh, please lah, stop looking down at me can? I've been here for seven months, and you just two days, don't ever judge me bitch. Gao Feng told her I'll be leading the other three at the back, then she was like doubting saying Jasmine know everything? Eh, fuck lah. I know you have the impression of me that I'm a slow learner, that I'll be pretty useless rite. Eh, comeon, take a look now. Then when I work keep giving me the stare. Fuck. See me bushuang can, I see you very bushuang also. Such a selfish person. When doing closing cashier, do her own stuffs only then push everything to Gao Feng. As a manger can even forget to send sales. Poor Gao Feng, I accompanied her back to outlet and then she did all those stuffs. Then that bitch just called and said sorry and stuffs. Fuck. Is you lazy, purposely or what. Kns. Poor Gao Feng kept being unwillingly pulled by her to talk. Poor Gao Feng still need to pretend everything is fine, say neve rmind over the phone when she's complaining like hell to me. _|_ Omg, so angry. Argh. Such a useless person also can be on such a high rank. Like the fucking hell? Lucky today I kicked her. Hahahahahaha! By accident only but damn shiok de loh. And, during break, chefs were like saying I'm Ajisen zi hua infront of her, LOL. I sibei uhm cho inside. So ah, please please please. You have no either who you're messing with. Omg, i need to chill, so vulgar, okay, relax, tomorrow off, yay, got interview for redcamp, hoping all the best! :)

It's Mid-Autumn Festival! ♥

2011-09-13T02:17:00.001+08:00

So today is the day when the new manager comes. She's Xiao Wei. She's from IMM, she interviewed me when I went for Ajisen interview. Hmm. So I prayed hard she doesn't remembers me. But hell no?! She remembers me, and she told Gao Feng that I'm scare of her and I learn things very slowly. The fuck. Bitch, don't judge me just because I work under you for my first two days of work. KNS. See everyone also bu shun yan. You think you very pro meh. So lazy. Tsk.

So the moment I reach workplace, the place is damn solemn. Then I was very afraid. I thought Xiao Wei so hiong. Then, heard that Qi Ping is being sent back to China by company. Damn, tears filled my eyes when I heard the news. No wonder everyone is so solemn. Hais. Major retrenchment by the company, why?!?! Qi Ping has been working for more than 2 years, just a few more months, it'll be the end of her contract and she'll be returning home. Now is like ending of the contract earlier, but why? When Qi Ping is called to the office, we all thought she's gonna be transferred to another outlet or promotion, so we are like happy for her. Then here comes this unexpectedly sad news :(

I knew it. The moment Xiao Wei comes, and the fact that JP outlet is going through renovation next month to be left with Ajisen only, I knew major changes gonna start. But I didn't knew it would be so fast?!

Sighs. I really love my colleagues, today we motivated each other, telling each other to jiayou so that Xiao Wei can't have anything to say about us. I know times are tough, but we are all still supporting and motivating each other. That's why whenever I want to quit, I didn't because thinking about them just makes me damn she bu de :( I don't want to leave them alone. At least no matter how tough times may be, the continue support and motivation will definitely walk us through rite? ;) Even Mei Ling also felt like quitting cause she's from IMM, and she knows very well how sucky Xiao Wei is.

Sighs, I'll see. If next month's pay day, I didn't get the missing double pay and the increase in pay rate per hour, I'll just quit, or at else I'll work till the JP outlet undergoes renovation. Hmm, what can I say, I cannot be scared of her, I must be confident, I'm now the one that has been working at JP outlet for seven months, she's just been here for a day. I have the ability and I must show her in the face. Prove her wrong. Ke yi de!

So after work, went home to celebrate Mid-Autumn festival with family. They damn sweet, waited for me to return home until 11pm. I love my family, I love how we actually do come as a family to celebrate occasions ♥ I must jiayou, for my family too, earn that extra bucks to lessen their burden. SeeMun jiayou okay, ni ke yi de! JIAYOU JIAYOU FIGHTING! :D

2011-09-12T13:25:00.000+08:00

The way you react, the way you treat me, makes me feel so insignificant. Time after time I wonder if I should continue to bother. Should I? Every time I look you in the eyes, I wanna tear. But well, blame myself for everything. For everything to end up like this. I ask myself if I should write my feelings out, but I guess it'll be pretty futile as it's all too late? But if I don't, I'll seemed like I don't bother anymore when I do. Dilemma.Tell me how.

BAmazing Race 7

2011-09-11T02:12:00.001+08:00

I don't know why but I only slept for like less than an hour before waking up at 6am for BAmazing. Fyi, I had been lying on the bed since like 1plus. WTF. Sibei cui. Met with Jamie at Clementi Bus Stop. Omg, so long no see, her hypeness really cannot tank. Maybe cause I very cui. Thanks a lot for the cute chio leopard hello kitty oil blotter from Japan!♥ Waited for Jing and Ryan. Hahahahaha. Ryan color blind, ask him wear red then he wore blue. So, we're from Group Three. And it sounded like Kimchi to Jing Hayashi. Hmm, can, this girl major withdrawal syndrome from Korea.

So first station was to find seven cards around seven locations in the school. This station I alrdy run and sweated like hell le loh =.=

Next station, Lim Bang Park. This station nothing much lorh, just fulfilling four tasks. We likka lucky to finally work everything out on the seventh and the very last try :)

Then, third station, Botanic Garden. Thought of Wyza so I phoned her to ask how to get there. Haha. Okay, damn random, sorry Wyzzie. But thanks so much for helping! :) So we trained down to Orchard from Chua Chu Kang. Seriously damn sian. We just sat down on the train floor. Aiya, heck. So I asked the control station lady and she told me bus 7 or 77. So we waited like hell long for the bus. Then, a stranger came to asked for direction. To my fucking astonishment, there's like two other buses that can get us to Botanic Garden. WTF. We totally wasted our time again =.= Zzz. Haha, me and Jing kept shouting and shouting. Botanic Garden is so gross, got anteater and the leaf litter looks so dangerous like there's caterpillar everywhere. Yucks! So, the tasks are to firstly blindfold two and the blindfolded will need to draw on the other two's face the image required. Secondly, we'll need to capture our own images of the things that are shown in the pictures they took. This seriously damn WTH can. We wasted like 35mins away?!

Fourth, The Pinnacle@Duxton. The task is to tie our legs together then move as a group back and forth with 4 poker cards at most at one time, and 10 in total in 20mins times. Sorry guys, I have very bad coordination. Some more I wearing high cut, I couldn't feel the pain but I know you guys must have hurt! Sorry! Funny, the fifth station is Lunch. LOL. Not bad, I LOVE THE CHILL. Is like Nasi Lemak with chicken.

Sixth, Teo Heng KTV @Katong. Hahaha. We damn funny, we play heart attack till damn high that we kept screaming and shouting and laughing that people have to warn us to lower down our volume or else we'll have time penalty. So basically, the task here is just to sing, chose four songs and continue the lyrics from the pause. Shit, couldn't remember how to sing dao dai so kenna penalty for 15minutes.

Seventh, Sports Complex @ Pasir Ris. We took like more than an hour to reach there. We really slowed down alot due to all those travelling. Is water games and the three of us doesn't have any swimming costume so the poor Ryan need to solo. Seriously, we owe him hell lot. So we were like the last few groups to the fact that the game master just tell us to return back to Ngee Ann when we still have Punggol to go. So trained all the way back to Clementi which is like hell long. Poor Ryan, he sibei cold one loh. If he fever, I'll be really guilty ttm.

On the whole trip, we kept thinking why the hell we are in BAmazing. Thinking of quitting halfway and just going home, leaving our bags in school and heck. Haha. But still we did went back uh. Had dinner. And waited hell long till our bags can be collected. In the end, damn pek cek, just own-self, auto go take and leave, heck already.

So after the whole trip, kept thinking like we've wasted this beautiful Saturday away and wasted unnecessary transport fees which is like 10 plus over. Wah, sian, and I paid $12.50 to participate. Is like wasting $22.50. OMG. I feel like killing myself when I think of it this way. But on the other hand, I think it was pretty much an eye-opener, I would definitely not go to all these places, or should I say, I have never been to all these places at all. Singapore has so much that I still have yet to discover. Need to go back to Botanic Garden someday for an awesome pinic! And, I need to travel to the east more, to discover new food and places for hang out! :)

AND AND AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, HAD AN AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TIME WITH MY PBL MATES! ♥♥♥

Well, everything have it's pros and cons. In return for the lost of money, I had fun, bonding, jokes, and some new experiences. Okay, come to think of it now as I blog and recall everything that happened today, it's still not bad :) I think I srsly very hiong. Knowing I didn't have to be in Day 2, I immediately texted Edmund telling him I can work and ohmytian, 12pm. And i'm like super duper exhausted and it's 2plus already nao. IKR. I NEED TO SLEEP NAO. SINCE I TDAY SO TIRED PLUS ONLY ONE HR SLEEP YSTD, I CONFIRM I GONNA SLEEP DAO SHIOK TONITE. YAY. WAN AN! :D

Happy Seventeenth, Honey! ♥♥♥

2011-09-08T14:39:00.001+08:00

Okay, so these few days I'm just working my ass off. Tuesday and Wednesday there's only four working staffs. The hell. I'm totally worn out. Even though the sick girl is coming back today but I doubt her presence is significant. She's such a fucking slacker that even when she's working, it just feels asif there's only four staffs. So is like this whole week I'll be seriously damn drained coz everyday is like a four staff day :( Why?!?!?! SIGHS. So, yes, yesterday was YanHong's birthday. Hmm.. Yeap. So I was working hence I couldn't celebrate with them so I asked them to come to Ajisen to have dinner. So before work, I did some deco, buy the cake and stuffs, woohooo. So, when YanHong came, her face was black, hmmmm, okay, shall not mention. But afterwards, all was fine. Glad she like it :) Edmund damn naice seriously. Laughs. Tyvm. And, my godness, I lost two of his pens. Urgh. Sorry. After work, immediately at 10:01PM, lol, chiongster, I went home, bathed and head over to the bday girl's hse. Played Police and Murderer. Woohoo. Kay ah, not bad, first time playing. Idk how to wink :( KianBoon headed home first as he gotta catch the last train. Hohoho, I have a poker face?! Laughs. At like 12plus, left her house for PM Mac. KahShin and Sophia headed home. So we had a pretty good chatting session at PM Mac. Laughs. Ajisen kitchen stuffs really perverting dao~ Left at like 2plus. It has been so long since I stayed out at that time. I love how easy it is to just laugh when I'm with them :D I was so shagged that I woke up at 1plus today. Hmm.. Let's just hope today work is gonna be ezbz. BaAmazing this saturday and sunday arhhhh. OMG. Excited! :DDDD

Lovely lunch date! ♥♥♥

2011-09-03T00:48:00.002+08:00

Pizza Hut Lunch Date with XiaoYuan and Shena! ♥♥♥ So long since I met my girls! I thought I ordered baked rice, then to my astonishment, is pasta. Okay, can. I misread the menu. A damn filling meal indeed! :) Walked around JP aimlessly. Lol. So we did nothing much but I'm glad to have a short meet up to hear from each of them how life has been :) Jiayou wo de bao bei men, O'lvls and Promos! :DDD Thinking of buying girlfriend's camera. Hmm. 500bucks. Ok, SeeMun, aim ah aim.

First Of September

2011-09-01T01:51:00.001+08:00

Went back to PSS. Hmm. Quite enjoyable although it was only for a short while :) Gotta go off to meet up with Bestie. So, we went to Plaza to buy tickets. Woohoo, thanks for the free ticket! :) GongCha up next. GongCha Milk Alisan Milk Tea. Hmmm. Okayokay. Woohoo, got an outerwear from Cotton On Body at dirt cheap 5bucks^^ Hellyeah. Wah, best hor seriously, when I'm broke like shit, so many beautiful things appear before my eyes. Thanks ah. Love the highwaist skirt from Cotton On. Love the leopard "laptop" bag. Love the spag tops at F21. Can't wait for H&M. H&M models posing outside the store, omg, like tumblr poeple coming alive before my eyes. All so hawt, pretty and handsome. Can't wait to own a piece of H&M! :D Went to Cinileisure as I wanted to buy Dream Catcher but it's gone :( Wah, sian, where got sell, I really wanna have one ley! Thanks for treating me to Popcorn! I tink you know I need to buy something later and have not much money so you decided to treat rite. So thoughtful and sweet, promise to treat you back! XOXO. Crazy, Stupid, Love was quite a naice movie! :D Not bad, not bad, worthwhile and recommended! :) After movie, went to Diaso, my gawd, I love the plain A4 size bag that they sell. So sad I don't even have 2bucks in my wallet =.= Pathetic much. I shall go back very soon and buy a couple so that I can design them myself! :) Yayyyy! So shagged, shall sleep now, meeting my beloved girlfriend and partner tomorrow. YayYay.

Great chat with Bestie tday, so long since we last met. Just wanna say, thanks so much for being with me for these ten year. Thanks for staying with me for so long. Thanks for being understand, thoughtful and selfless at times. You make me realize that even when the sky is falling down, I'll still have that one girl to count on :) I promise, we will be together, as best friends, till death do us apart. Be each other's bridesmaid, sit a limo.. There's still so many things out there that we've not done together. Really look forward to the future that awaits for us. Isn't it great. Knowing each other since seven, seeing how each other change and grow from a little kiddo, to a teenager, to a young woman, and to a wife, and to a grandma. Lovely. Love you so much. Forever and ever, my beautiful girl!

2011-08-31T02:30:00.000+08:00

The fact that I will never forget and never forgive myself makes such a great barrier for me. All these nights, thinking about the past, thinking about all those mistakes, all those regrets, how i cry myself to sleep, is totally not cool. Why trap in the past, SeeMun? I don't know. Maybe they are right, I should stop blaming myself. And at times like this, I really wish that I was born in 1995 instead. Imagine how different my life would have been from now. Why did God wanted me to enter the world a month earlier. Why. Why let me made mistakes that I can never forgive myself for. Why do I suck so much as a person, as a friend, as a best friend, as a partner. Sighs. Why. I really didn't want fading and drifting. But tell me, what should I be doing. Even I don't feel like attending because my presence is insignificant. Because of all these barriers I create in my mind, I will never ever step out of this zone, I will be trap. Sighs. Cried at work today, thinking back, I was really stupid. Every time I made a mistake, chefs are angry, I feel damn guilty and I feel damn low and I cry. Sighs. I can't take that pressure. I'm not that strong. Stupid really. Why you so emotional about everything ah. Tsk. See, an hour later, they just smiled and joke with you and nothing actually happened after all. I have to learn to let go. I have to learn to accept my imperfections. I have to accept that things had happened and rather be regretting and thinking about the past, I should think about what I should be doing now so that things won't worsen. But tell me, everything is so broken now, what should I do, it's so broken that I don't even have the courage to mend it anymore because I feel my presence so unwanted, so insignificant, so hated. I don't even have the courage to look you in the eyes. I know, at this state, no one will bother who went wrong, or what happened, we only want what used to be, "us". But, how. I really don't know how. Tell me. I'm so lost. And every single night, the cycle continues, how I pour myself with sadness, telling myself what I should be doing, but yet nothing is done, and the day pass and once again, the night come and I feel so worthless once again. Useless shit.

2011-08-29T00:32:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm.. So much thinking nowadays, putting myself in such a miserable and depressing state. Wondering if I should continue doing what I planned to. Hmmmm.. Hmmm.. Hmmm.. So much thinking, and without knowing, tears welled up my eyes. Really hate myself. 做人做得好失败 ;(

2011-08-27T14:59:00.002+08:00

So sad. So fucking sad. So sad sad sad.

2011-08-26T00:30:00.000+08:00

So my hair actually not much diff lah. Only under the sun when under the lights. Actually got diff loh. Okay can. Nevermind, I'm happy with it :) Kai xin jiu hao. Sian, tired siahs, today Ajisen was hell buzy. Tsk. I can feel my legs breaking. What is this. Actually every time after work, my legs wanna break. Nevermind, at least, it makes me fall asleep fast. Then I'll wont be thinking so much. Huhuhu, Edmund told Ah Xiong about increasing my pay :) Weeweee. The more I must and should be working. Let's just hope it really does increase. Really can't wait for payday on oct lah. Keching, ke ching. Fyi, sep pay day also haven't reach. Sian lo, only 96bucks. Sian, day one, ate a lot. Wah, sian, totally fail leh SeeMun. Nevermind, I didn't consumed dinner. Draw. Keekee. Zi wo an wei. Yay, tomorrow public holiday, double pay, smart or smart ah, laughs, I always aim for public hols cause is like the best thing ever. The H&M advertising all around Spore is so tempting. Argh. But mei you qian :((((( Yawns, goodnight.

7 weeks of goodness

2011-08-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

So, I'm fucking worried about my GPA this Semester. All the papers, not a single one fully answered. IBE the worst, i think 20 marks just fly. And my answers were all so vague. Kns. I just never seem to be able to finish my paper on time. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Feel so screwed for GPA. So depressed. Think I gonna get below 3.8 (my target), below 3.5(the minimum I should be going) and fucking below 3 :'( Damn, study so much then in the end not enough time to perform. Siansation to the max. Just see me cry on that day of getting results :( Haiish. I'm so particular bout GPA as it's cumulative. Lousy GPA grades this sem will just pull me down even when I do score well in the future, and only if I score well which is like so unlikely to happen. Sad man seriously. Sighs. How I wish I'm in year three now, doing my overseas internship. Sigh. How. I just wanna die. Poor grades, no chance for scholarship, kns. Just kill me man seriously.

Okay, alright, on the happy note :) Fyeah. My three days and seven weeks (52days) of freedom has finally commence. All I wanna do is to work like a workaholic, like I'm a full timer, like I'm in the work force, just to earn that $$$ and maybe $$$$. For me to spent during the last week of holiday= To fill up my closet for another sem long clothes. Woohoo. Asif lah, just for exaggeration terms. I must visit Oakham Market. And hopefully get something from H&M!!!!! :D And, hopefully, (knowing the fact that i have zero chance to go overseas shopping), at least Malaysia shopping k! Next, I'm really gonna lose weight okay. Seriously, no joke, just wait and see, 5kg lost by the end of 52days okay. I hope lah. But if I run, control diet, do whatever shit also cannot lose 5kg, I also know I tried my best. So I shall forgive myself. Lol. But at least, at least, lose 3kg, just let me be in my usual-should-be weight. I shall drink coffee everyday since I'm caffeine intolerant and will lao sai. What goes in must go out what. Laughs. Run day and night. Hopefully. Haha. Go gym once or twice a week. If work, cannot run mah, so skip dinner loh. Okay, ke yi, must succeed, cannot stand my fats already, so disgusting. Okay, so far for now. Too much awesomeness to fill these 52days already. Day 1, cutting and dying of my hair, yes, a brand new image for me :)

2011-08-24T11:19:00.000+08:00

Damn sian seriously. Can't wait for everything to be over. Can't wait for bmgt paper to be over in like a few hours time. But on the sad notes, ibe paper tomorrow, and oh gosh, it's gonna be a sleepless night. I may be too shagged to even go celebration afterwards. Hmmmm. Please, let this two papers be good. Previous two papers have done great harm to my GPA. Can these two papers help me level off. Please please please.

2011-08-22T21:48:00.001+08:00

Wah sian. Slept from 4 to 7 siohs. Sian. Tonight can burn midnight oil liaos. So bored, don't feel like studying at all. Came up with a couple of hairstyles. :D Keekeeee. Most probably doing highlights! :) Okay. Must study at 10. Shall Tetris now :)

2011-08-22T14:24:00.000+08:00

Bstats was the fuck? I don't know what the hell I was doing and I shall not look at my notes to see if I've done it correctly not. Think I pretty much screwed the last question up. Siannnnn. Early in the morning, on the bus, met a cute little girl. Damn cute. There was an empty seat then she talk damn loud saying why there got empty seat nobody want to seat. Then she kept looking at me. Then she told her mum, gugu ye shi you gei wo na ge shou biao. Ahahahaha. Is my kitty watch :) Laughs. As I was reading my notes, she's so curious that she wanted to peak. Awwwwww, She's such a sweetheart! ♥ Sian, I seriously hate bus rides, the smell of new bus makes me wanna puke. That's why I can't tank taxi either. Hohoho, heard from my girls that they gonna hang out after exams. Hellyeah, I'm on. Can't wait! ♥ Met JiaMan, wahlao, seriously bastard siahs him, push me then say sorry then when I turn around, it was him, like wth?! I've always hoped that someday I'll meet him on the train and today I saw him but guess he didn't. Went to take a look at hair dyes. Hmmmmm. Thinking. I don't know what to do my hair, I wanna do two tones but my hair is too short, but the picture above is like wow, so chio~ If I were to dye lighter shades, does that mean I have to dye my brows too? Lol. Hmmmm. Or should I do streaks or highlight. Hmmmmm. Omg, seriously can't wait for Thursday to come. Free bird I'll become. Shall spent my time well this vacation. Do things I love. Slim down. Bake. Cook. Shall do my hair on Friday before work at 5pm! Huhuhuh, can't wait! ♥

2011-08-21T12:19:00.002+08:00

I love blogging, cause it's like the only platform for me to vent things out, talk about what happened in life, talk about how I feel. I don't like posting them up on twitter as there are people out there who I don't wish they know. I don't like the fact that I'm so vulnerable. I don't like people knowing that. But, tears just fails me every time. Definitely not good in controlling emotions. Has been thinking a lot lately. I don't know what to say, what to do, how to react. I just don't know. I'm so insecure with my insecurities. I find it so hard to communicate with people. For those who know me, I don't start conversations simply because I don't know how. I really try, thinking about conversations in my head but in the end, it will just end up as short little conversations which turns out to be so awkward that I shouldn't even start it. So, normally, I'll just be silent. Or maybe, I've been the silent me ever since this year started. I don't know what happened, but I just don't feel like talking most of the time. It aches in me, I hate the fact that I'm like this, but I just don't know what can I do. That is why I really love all my friends, as I find it so difficult to talk to people yet they can always think of what to say and keep the conversation going and going. I know they will be very tired in trying to communicate with me cause all the while, they will be the one approaching me, starting the conversation. Is really not that I couldn't be bothered. I can't be like some people, who can be so random. Their randomnesses is their key to starting the conversation. I really wonder, with my personality like this, so vulnerable, so introvert, it's going to be a great barrier for me in studying international business. While studying, I think, when studying international, you have to be flexible in all kinds of different situations, but I'm so uncomfortable in all kinds of different situations. I'm not confident, not extrovert.. I don't hold the qualities needed to be an international manager. Then, why am I here in this course. I have to change, but I don't know how. Is not the first time I thought of changing. I've always wanted to change. Since young, since 7, I care what people think about me, so I change. Now, 10 years later, I still care what people thinks. I find change so painful, so difficult, so not me. I'm so weird. Wanting to do something yet on the other hand contradicting myself with some others. How can I even be better, be confident, be outgoing, be like others. I admire everything about others and hate every single thing about me. I admire how people can communicate well, I admire how people can do well in their studies. I just will never ever think that I am good in what I do so I always push my limits, trying to do the best I can ever do, just push and push and push. I'm broken inside. Is time to mend myself.

2011-08-20T18:49:00.000+08:00

Hello. HTHT with brother late yesterday night. Hohoho, feels great. Slept at like 4 and woke up at 9. Feeling so jovial and energetic. Siao hor. And now sleepiness kicking in. Sian. I haven't touch bstats when my paper is just on Monday. Haven't touch really haven't touch. GG.COM Sian. Hope last minute studying tomorrow can do me well. I tink I should talk to my brother more, when no one could hear me out, is time to turn into my brother. He's 15, more sensible than ever, and I trust him. Awwww, yes, much love, much love. Although he doesn't really comment, but anyway, he let me pour everything out. And it feels so much better :)

Hi, my name is See Mun. And you are?
Back to square one.

2011-08-19T13:37:00.000+08:00

So, now my mood is so so so lousy. Thanks to the great maec paper which I didn't had time to finish. Haiish. I know, what's done is done, don't be sad over it, dah dah dah. I'm just so freaking disappointed with myself. The questions are simple, and I know I can answer them but wth with you writing so much, having such a bad time management, getting yourself into a pile of mess, with answers answered vaguely. Wtf, SeeMun. Best job done ever, ever. Maec is really one paper which I was very pretty confident I could score in, and Wtf, well done, screwed. Fuck man seriously. How can I be so stupid stupid stupid stupid?! Tsk. I'm gonna learn to not cry in front of people anymore, you got problems then lock yourself in your room and cry. Ain't gonna tell anyone how much it hurt, cause no one bothers and neither should them. Just so fucked up with life. Not just this exam, but life, as in really life. I was thinking what went wrong, what I can do, and wow, great, I should stop bothering, seriously. I'm someone who doesn't approach people, but I show my love via small little things, ain't that enough. Kay, not enough, ikr, i suck as a friend, as a student, as me. Kthxbai.

2011-08-17T23:36:00.000+08:00

So bored with studying :( Sighs. Got new phone and new line unexpectedly on Sunday. Okay.. DSS Test was okayokay :/ MAEC is on Friday. BSTATS is on Monday. BMGT on Wednesday and LASTLY, IBE on Thursday. Really can't wait, just one more week or so and I'll be free from all these shits. Then, I'll trim my hair and dye my hair. Hohoho. Shall not rebond I guess, cause I love my hair being loose and not flat and straight and so boring like when it's straightened. Ohwell, I shall see. I shall also work like mad so that I can spent it during October. Pray hard the new manager is one good soul and NOT LILY PLEASE. Yes yes, can't wait, and MY OFFICIALLY SLIMMING DOWN PROGRAM WILL COMMENCE. At least go back to my weight before I went Vietbodia, like 51-52kg. KKKKKK, PLEASEEEEE, KBAI, OFF TO STUDY MAEC. AD, AD, AD!!!